Got to love him!

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.-Antoine De Saint-Expuery

Each day with Josh just gets better. Last night I took 10 of my freshmen from my course that I am teaching at Elon to the NC State fair. What a great time. Almost all of them are from up north so the experience was just that...."an experience". Josh was able to join us and meet "my kids" as I so often call them and see why I love going to class every Tuesday. They had a great time and needless to say...they had a lot to talk about on the van ride home on their night at the North Carolina State Fair!

While the kids were exploring the fairgrounds, Josh and I had the chance to spend some quality time together. Since our relationship is a long distance one, we cherish every moment we get...even if it is spent amongst the smell of hay, horse poo and screaming kids. We will take what we can get! We wandered around the grounds admiring all of the great food (and yes...we did partake, but did not over indulge) and all of the unique people. The state fair is by far one of the best people watching places in the world.

At one point in the evening Josh and I sat down to rest and nibble on a 'corn on a stick' and delicious funnel cake. Of all times and places we stumbled into a deep conversation about life, our future and where we our opinions stood on some very important issues. It amazed me that the world was spinning around us and here we were just talking away like no one existed. Josh and I have seen eye to eye on all major issues and we continue to do. Last night's conversation was just another confirmation that when times get tough (and I know they will) that he is the one that I want by my side to go through them with. He is open, honest and clearly communicates what he is feeling. Amazing.....if only all men were like this. But you know what? He is the only man that I need to be like that.

So as we approach month number eight in two weeks, I continue to enjoy every minute I get to spend with Josh. I know that life is not always perfect, we are not always perfect but I know for sure, that we are perfect for each other!

JAR

33

“It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things.”

-Donald Miller



So I celebrated my 33rd birthday last week. I rang it in like I do all the others...with a lot of noise and ruckus. I made sure I let everyone know (for weeks...heck months) that is was coming and I even convinced myself that it was going to be bigger and better than all of the others. I think it's my way of disguising the fact that I am just getting older. In the midst of all the hoopla I never once stopped to think that I was actually turning a year older until the night of my birthday. When everything calmed down I stopped dead in my tracks to realize....."OH CRAP...I AM 33!".

Yeah, so I am a year older. So what. So I have a few more wrinkles, I walk/run a little slower. I can't drink as many beers as I used too and I sure as heck can't fit into my favorite pair of jeans like I did when I was in college. And there are the little things that annoy me (especially working on a college campus) on a daily basis. Like the fact that kids today have to play their music so loud. And everyone is in such a hurry to get somewhere. And clothes aren't made they way they used to be made (good quality). Nobody wants to take the time work for something....they want it now and I mean RIGHT now. I guess I am getting old.

But as I am a year older, I have discovered that I have noticed that I enjoy parts of life that I never used to. I actually stop to smell flowers now. Literally. I still drive fast.....but at least I use my turn signal and I am polite when I pass someone (if that is possible). I try to take the time to do one thing each week that is different for me (see a play, read a book, try a new food). I try not to judge as much or should I say...I try to give someone the benefit of the doubt more. I have mellowed quite a bit.

I laugh more, cry less. I argue less and listen more passionately. I still fall and tumble often, but I have learned that scraping your knees are ok and you just learn to pick yourself up and go. I have learned over the years that a broken heart is not hopeless. Love endures. I have watched death come and take those I love so dearly. I have seen the struggle of the world and the freedoms of many and challenge my own role in society.

It's funny sometimes. If someone were to tell me at 33 I would be analyzing the role of where I am and I what I feel at this point in my life thus far, I would have laughed. I never saw myself as such a person. But you can't help but put life in perspective at times.

Friends and family give me one heck of a time each year when my birthday rolls around because I make such a big deal about it. I guess in the end I make a deal because it's my way of bringing closure (or a celebration) to one great year and preparing for another.We never know how many of these "years" we have left.....so I like to think that rejoicing in each one is not such a bad idea.

Besides...you usually get great gifts and a yummy cake to go along with it!

JAR

The Pink Ribbon

"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts - it's what you do with what you have left." ~Hubert Humphrey

Grandma Ruggieri was 38 years old when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer. That was 1962. At that time the world of medicine did not know how to handle the diagnosis of breast cancer...if anything they may not of understood cancer all together. So at that time, my grandmother did what she had to do to survive and had a mastectomy. And it was gruesome. With that procedure came no counseling, no follow-up and no rehabilitation back into the world in which she had to function...life with three children and a husband. So my grandmother did they only thing she knew how to do, she survived.

I have been told that through the next few years of my grandmother's life, she was in and out of the hospital for "nervous breakdowns" and various mental issues. As my father describes, it was a tough time in the house. I can only imagine that if no one around you had ever heard of what you had been through and then on top of that you physically could not recognize your body anymore...I would have had mental issues too. Today, those mental issues are called depression. Forty-five years ago, with the proper counseling and medication, my grandmother could have had a much healthier transition back to her life as she once knew it.

On October 30, 2002 my grandmother lost her 40-year battle with breast cancer. Although to many she may have succumbed to the disease that caused her such angst, I feel she was a survivor for so many reasons more. The day she died I could not help to think that it was a coincidence that her death occurred in a month that would signify a movement that has now transcending a nation..... finding a cure for Breast Cancer.

I had "heard" there was this thing called Breast Cancer Awareness...but I had not educated myself enough to fully understand the movement. However, on the day of Grandma's wake and funeral, the entire family wore the pink ribbon for the first time. And the entire congregation wore them as well. Many people did not know of the pink ribbon or what it meant either (unless we explained it to them) but it was powerful to have such grand yet silent form of support.

From that moment on I knew that Grandma's life and what she had endured would have more meaning and her survival should continue on. Since 2002 I have worn the pink ribbon every day during the month of October, but I have also taken the message of finding a cure for breast cancer as a personal philanthropy. Whether it's walking in the Race for the Cure every year or having a birthday themed party or even just advocating for more research dollars with my local representatives....I have made it a personal cause.

I was always close to all of my grandparents and I was there with my grandmother the last few months of her life. I made it a point to do the little things that she could not; paint her nails, do her hair, help her bathe and talk to her about funny stories. One of the strongest memories I have of Grandma Ruggieri was about two months before she passed away. I had slept in her bed one night because she was having trouble sleeping. She got up in the middle in of the night and was sitting on the edge of the bed. I asked her what was wrong. She said she was afraid that no one would remember her or no one would come and visit her (at her grave). I assured I would do both. She then asked, would I remember to bring her pink roses. I said I would.

I can't get to New Jersey often and when I do I always bring her pink roses. But for all the days I cannot....I wear the pink ribbon.

JAR

To find out the great things that are happening with Breast Cancer Awareness, please check out the Susan G. Komen Foundation