A Not So Single Southern

Music cures all

2011-02-22T09:38:00.006-05:00

I honestly cannot remember a time in my life that I have not had musical influence. Even as a small child I have memories of dancing and singing around the house. I used to love to put my Whitney Houston cassette in and try to sing every line with her. Of course...she probably was a little more in tune than me, but I held my own. Ha.

My parents were huge advocates for all of my siblings and I to learn to play the piano. We each took lessons for 10 years. At the time I used to hate to practice every day...but I always enjoyed the peace I felt when I touched the keys. Over the years I have not had the opportunity to play as much...but when I do, I usually get lost in the melodies.

I have found that many times in my life I have looked to music to "cure" what ails me at that time. Many songs have spoken to me during bad breakups, deaths, job stresses and just plain old bad mood days. There is something to be said about the power of a song and words that can bring you back from a dark place. Not to mention the good mood the music usually puts you in. Josh always teases me because I am constantly singing. I sing in the kitchen, shower and my best performances are always in the car. I pity the poor soul who pulls up next to me when I am in my car and I am in full throttle belting with Lady Antebellum. What a site to see.

Perhaps when I grow up.... I might give this singing career a shot. In the meantime I will continue to sing to anyone willing to listen (poor Winston....he takes the brunt of my performances) and dream of being the next American Idol.

JAR

PS. I have had a lot of stress at work lately and the song that seems to resonate the most with me now is 'Strip Me' by Natasha Bedingfield. Here are the lyrics:

Everyday I fight for All my future somethings A thousand little awards I have to choose between I could spend a lifetime Earning things I don’t need That’s like chasing rainbows And coming home empty And if you strip me, Strip it all away If you strip me, What would you find If you strip me, Strip it all away Ill be alright Take what you want Steal my pride Build me up Or cut me down to size Shut me out But I’ll just scream I'm only one voice in a million But you ain't taking that from me Oh oh no you ain't taking that from me. I don't need a microphone To say what I been thinking My heart is like a loudspeaker That's always on eleven And if you strip me, Strip it all away

Hello Again...its been awhile

2010-12-07T18:15:00.004-05:00

"Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat."
- Joanne Woodward

Yep...it has been awhile since we last talked...but I promise it has been for a good reason.....I am now married!

Life has been very good, no wait...GREAT for me since August 28th...I could never have imagined that being married would be so wonderful. I sometimes wonder why the heck it took me so long to come around to the whole marriage idea! I absolutely love waking up every morning next to Josh and the favorite part of my day is coming home after work and spending time with my boys (Winston and Josh of course). Knowing that I have my best friend with me at my side is the most amazing experience. I am truly blessed.

Marriage is a funny thing. I have definitely learned quickly the art of compromise. As a stubborn person this was not the easiest of tasks to learn (or accept), however I am an observer and I noticed quickly that this was essential to the survival of a marriage. Oh don't get me wrong..there have been plenty of times that I want to stomp my feet and scream "I am right...I am right"....but I know that won't win any battles. One of our dear family friends, Suzan Monk gave Josh and I this key piece of advice before we got married: "Being happy is far better than being right". Great advice. Every time I think I want to argue (like how the right way to fold laundry should be or cooking pasta a certain way)..I always go back to that statement. I have a strong suspicion that this mentality will be VERY helpful in the future with kids!

I am excited about the coming year for Josh and I. 2011 will be big for us in many ways. We hope to make decisions on where we both want to be with our jobs...hopefully we will also be in the market for a new home. And who knows what else will be on our agendas (smile). Whatever our futures may hold...I am ready and up for the adventure.

I wish you all a wonderful holiday and I hope that you will be able to share this time with your closest family and friends. I look forward to writing in the new year!

Love always
Jenny (aka: JRH)

...And then she got married...

2010-09-17T10:52:00.015-04:00

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

-Henry Youngman

Little did I know that when I started this "Single Southern" blog that I would eventually not be single one day. How time and life flies when you aren't exactly making plans. So on August 28th I officially dropped the Ms. and became a Mrs.....a Mrs. Hammond that is. What an amazing feeling to be married.

Thanks to great family and friends we had the wedding weekend that some only dream about. As everyone told us it would ....the time certainly did fly by. It is hard to think that after 8 months of planning, stressing (at times) and strategies..that it could all be over in less than 48 hours! No kidding...it flew by. In the midst of it all we enjoyed our time catching up with family and friends and celebrating every minute the we could squeeze in. Truly when you stop to think about it...it is one of the few times in your life that you get to have all the people you love surround you with hope and happy wishes. Just amazing. More pictures and comments to follow in a future post.

So now we have been married for three weeks and we are starting to get into the routine of life. After an amazing honeymoon in Punta Cana (with our dear friend Hurricane Earl) we returned to our home in Raleigh to our spoiled son Winston and a stack of dirty laundry. Reality started to set in quickly. I think the first few days we simply tried to recover and bring our heads out of the clouds. We started to unpack, unwrap wedding gifts and try to make sense out of the chaos that was forming in our home. After a few good naps and one crying breakdown (by me of course) we got our act together. We ventured out on our first "joint" shopping trip to Walmart (Josh hates Walmart) and survived the dubious tasks of grocery shopping and cleaning. We got through it....but quickly decided that maybe I should do the shopping and Josh do the cooking! Ha!

It is so funny and amazing to me all in one thought that we are 1.) married and 2.) living in very tight quarters. For the last 7 years Josh and I have lived on our own and basically lived like a bachelor and a bachelorette. So not only are we getting used to being "married" we are just getting used to having a roommate again. I laugh at this because it is the little things that we are finding adjustments to (where to put the groceries, how one might do their laundry and why we both need more sleeping space). We have already concluded that we will have to purchase a king size bed for the new house that we intend to buy. We are just two very independent sleepers and neither one of us wants to give an inch in that bed! To be continued....

So other than adjusting to a 1-hour commute (each way) to work every day.....the new Hammonds are making it. We are learning the very fine art of compromise and the importance of taking time for ourselves. Now don't get me wrong...we are only three weeks into this marriage thing and we still have plenty to learn. But I think so far....we are doing a spectacular job. I look forward to the coming months as we adjust to one another and to joyful art of marriage.

JAR

One Month

2010-07-28T15:33:00.003-04:00

"A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason - and indeed all the sweets of life." - Joseph Addison

How in the world have 7 months flown by since Josh got down on one knee and proposed to me? I truly believe that time does fly....and fast. I have really not been nervous or anxious about the upcoming nuptials....but as I woke this morning and realized that in one month I will no longer be a Ms. but a Mrs.....I started to ponder. I pondered how after 33 years did I really go without being with this wonderful man? It is so true that when you know "you know". As I drove into work this morning I kept thinking of all of the wonderful events in my life and how blessed I have been. I also thought how lucky that I am to be in this moment now. I joke around a lot with people about this next statement, but I "truly was and will not be ready to marry until August 28th". I think God has just an amazing way of planning our lives. The song lyric that says "if you want to make God laugh..tell him your plans". So true. I think back to all of the years that I wondered if I would ever get married or would I be right to be married to someone....but all along he knew. God was molding me, allowing me to have experiences and embrace challenges that would only make me a better wife and hopefully someday mother. I am a religious person...but you don't even have to be religious to "get that". There is a power out there that is much stronger than us that guides us...

So one month to go. Yes....all of the little details (wedding programs, seating charts, flowers, honeymoon plans) they all start to come into full circle. However I keep reminding myself that although all of that is wonderful....at the end of the day, I just want to be married to Josh. I am looking forward to being a "Not so Single Southern" and embracing this marriage thing that everyone has been ranting and raving about all of these years! I look forward to being the next generation of Mrs. Hammond and I can't wait to be a family (with Winston of course!).

So I suppose the moral of my story is from a little country tune by Garth Brooks....

"Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered"
"Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"

However the greatest prayer that he did answer was that of happiness. I know life is not easy and I am sure Josh and I will have our bumps along the road like everyone else. But in the end.....I love him and he brings me the most happiness.

One month.

JAR

God Bless the USA

2010-07-01T09:22:00.000-04:00

"There are those, I know, who will say that the liberation of humanity, the freedom of man and mind, is nothing but a dream. They are right. It is the American dream." ~Archibald MacLeish

As we approach this Fourth of July weekend, I could not help but think about all of the things that I am most thankful for. Being an American is truly a privilege and often times it takes a trip to another part of the world to appreciate it. Fortunately I have had the chance to go abroad a couple of times....and there is no feeling like the feeling you get when the wheels of the airplane touch the sweet American soil. With all of the events in the world currently, I think living in the ole' US of A is still a pretty lucrative deal.

While I was watching the news the other night, I started to think about all of the things I love and appreciate most about being an American and living in the land of the free. Here are a few that came to mind:

Freedom of Speech
Right to practice my choice of faith
the ability to obtain an education.....at all levels
the right to vote
having laws that protect our animals, homes, choice of sexual orientation, faith and ways of life
being a woman and being allowed to do anything that a man can do
choosing my own health care (not for long)
having as many children as I wish
living in a safe and clean environment (fresh water, trash-free streets, rules and regulations on food, war zone free)

Of course there many, many more that each day I think about...and I am grateful for. I know that for each of these freedoms that I have, I have the men and women who served this great nation to thank. We are a great land with great opportunity and I never take that for granted.

On a final note, this month (July 14th) will serve as the 6th anniversary of my Nanny Kirk's passing. I think that it was fitting that she left us during our most patriotic month of the year. She herself was the most patriotic person I've ever known. She would go all out with decorations for the fourth and she loved to sing God Bless America by Lee Greenwood (she played it over and over on her little tape player). She supported our troops and loved being an American. So every time I see a little flag or anything that is adorned with the stars and stripes I smile and think of her.

So on this fourth of July, I will pause in remembrance of those who have protected this great nation and pray in thanksgiving for the freedoms I am granted everyday as an American.

God Bless the USA!

JAR

p.s. If you have never seen the original "God Bless the USA" video....here you go!

The Race.....

2010-06-11T14:05:00.000-04:00

Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are. ~Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Tomorrow I will be running in my eighth Susan G. Komen Race in Raleigh, NC. Last year I brought Josh along for the race and he nearly killed me when it was all said and done. However this year, he has been training with a running club twice a week....so he is ready to race tomorrow. Not real thrilled about the humidity and heat we may face, but I figured that pales in comparison to what cancer patients fight daily, for whom we are racing for.

If you have never had the opportunity to participate in such an event...I encourage you to do so. Not only is the experience a physical challenge....but it is an emotional circus! You see survivors, patients, friends and families of patients and survivors and neighbors lined along the streets cheering you on. It is really an amazing feeling to be a part of something so much bigger than yourself.

When you stop and look around, it dawns on you that this idea (pink ribbons, breast cancer awareness, races, fundraising) started with a promise between two sisters over 31 years ago. Nancy Brinker assured her sister, Susan G. Komen, that she would find a cure. She would not allow other women young (Susan was 36 when she died) and old to suffer as she did. And so became the Susan G. Komen Foundation. If you would like to learn more about this story, check out the book written by Nancy Brinker about the organization and her special relationship with her sister, that will debut in September.

I look forward to the day that there is a cure for breast cancer and cancer as a whole. I am confident it will happen in my lifetime. Until then...we must continue to fight one day at a time. So the next time you see a product with the Susan G. Komen logo on it or you have someone who wishes to be sponsored...but it and give them anything you can. In the end....every single penny makes a difference.

JAR

Love to all my friends and family who have succumbed to cancer, to those who are fighting and those yet to fight! I am so proud of each of you and rest assure....I will keep walking and spreading the word for a cure!

In memory of:

Josephine Ruggieri
Dorothy Kirk
Jerry Sides
Mary Llloyd Kirk

In honor of:

Linnea Weddington
Mrs. Trexler
Matthew Ruggieri
Larry Gildea
Jeffrey Weddington

What is Interactive Media?

2010-05-17T11:40:00.000-04:00

Many of you have asked exactly what is Interactive Media? Well...here is a quick overview of what my first class of Master's Students in the IM program are all about. This is a promo video for their upcoming portfolio showcase this week. I guess you can say I am a proud mama! Way to go grads!

JAR

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=0tqcmwfG7Lw&feature=related

Pugs and Kisses...last forever

2010-05-14T15:09:00.000-04:00

"The pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor." ~Margo Kaufman

So as many of you know....I am getting married in August (whew...time is flying fast)! And as I prepare to make my next steps.... some pretty big transitions are about to occur. As I mentioned in a previous post I am going to be living with my parents this summer prior to the wedding. I only have two weeks left to live the life of a single lady...because after that I will literally be living with someone for many, many years (hopefully!).

And with my move that means that I also only have two more weeks with my dear Winston before I send him off to live with his new Daddy for the summer. Winston is always welcome at my parents' house...just not on a permanent basis. So...one of the stipulations with my parents when I asked to live with them for a few months was that Winston could not come with me. As upset as I was...I understood and respected their decision. So...Winston will be off living the bachelor life in Raleigh, adjusting to his new pad.

Now one may think this is not that big of a deal...but let's remember what the little guy has meant to me over the past two years. When I got Winston back in January of 2008...I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I literally thought..."how hard can this really be?". Hmmm....boy was I thinking crazy. That little pug taught me so much about every aspect of life. From his not so glorious potty training experiences to his constant shedding...my OCD of a lifestyle went right out the window. I also embraced the true meaning of patience. I not only had to get some...but I had to execute it at times that I did not feel so confident in doing so. Having the urge to throw a shoe at him when he chewed to death a pair of $50 high heels or when he decided that he wanted to cry all night long in his crate when I really wanted to sleep...was a true test of patience. And for the record....I am still be tested daily.

Probably one of the most important "gifts" I have received since having Winston is my desire to truly do for someone/something else. I never really considered myself a selfish person but after having someone to care for 24/7...I realized that I was truly selfish. Winston has taught me so much about giving to others and loving unconditionally. I would do ANYTHING for that dog. And the funny thing is I never understood what pet owners meant when they would go on and on about their pets...but now I do. There are some months that I probably could not afford to do something .....but you better believe that dog had plenty of food and treats fit for a king!

It's funny how life paints its pictures sometimes. When I got Winston...I had and was going through a really rough break-up and knew my then job was coming to an end. Needless to say I was at probably one of my lowest points. That summer and the transition of moving to Elon was really, really hard on me. However....Winston did not care. He loved me so much and gave me so much comfort that it truly saved me. No matter how low I felt or how discouraged I became...I would just look at him and knew that I had to do better ....if not for me...but for him.

I guess you can say that Winston has taught me a lot about love and life. There is no doubt that he gave me the will and the confidence to love again...and I believe that is why I was so open to Josh in my life. And when it comes to bracing for my future with children....Winston has definitely opened my eyes to what lies ahead. Now I know not everyone believes in angels and all of that mystical stuff....but I do. I KNOW that he was a little angel sent to me from above to guide me along my path. And although it saddens me that someday he will leave me (but not for a long, long time)...I know the gifts he has given me will last for a lifetime.

So I will embrace these next two weeks as much as I can. Some don't understand what the big fuss is all about....because I will see him on the weekends and back to full time in August. But for those of you who have pets...know that coming home everyday to that tail wagging with excitement to see you is irreplaceable. They love you no matter how bad of a day you are having...and they are just so excited to see you. Now I know Mom and Dad will provide some of that (ha ha)....but nothing to the satisfaction of a pug kiss and hug.

JAR

"My goal in life is to be as good of a person my dog already thinks I am." ~Author Unknown

30 days and counting....

2010-04-30T13:58:00.000-04:00

No matter what, Dad was always there with solid words of advice . . . "Go ask your mother."- Alan Ray

Ok....so in exactly one month, I will do what I NEVER thought I would do after I turned 18.....move back in with my parents. Now...let's get the story straight...this is only a 3 month stint and it is really for the purity of my future marriage to Josh in August. Well....and also because my father said if I ever lived with anyone before I was married....he would not come to the wedding. Now I don't know if he would really do that...but I thought I would not risk walking down the aisle by myself! Ha!

In all seriousness, moving in with my parents really made the most sense since my current lease ends on May 31st and Josh and I really do want to wait until we are married before we live together. I guess this will be a great way to save money, get used to the commuting concept (ugh) and relish some time with two of the most important people in my life. After all...how bad could it possibly be?

My sister Lynn spent a couple months before her wedding two years ago and she said she really had a fun time with my parents. She said it definitely was different being back since she was used to coming and going on her own (kind of like coming home from college that first summer) and it was also unique to see how Mom and Dad had adopted to life "post children". So in a way...I am kind of excited about spending some time with them myself.

I am looking forward to having dinner every night with Mom and Dad...although I am not sure if Mom really cooks anymore. I am also excited about watching evening shows with them as well....but then again they do watch TV in separate rooms every night. Oh but wait...we could go to the movies every once in awhile too....but now I just remembered they go early to catch the senior citizen discount rate...and I would not qualify for that (too young! ha!). So maybe it won't be as glamorous as I anticipate it to be.

Perhaps in the end it will be an opportunity to plan the final details of my wedding from home base and catch up on some quality conversations with Mom and Dad. Of course I have to keep the mushy conversations to Mom...Dad does not like to deal with those. However..if I have a Bridezilla moment..he will have to deal with it too!

All in all I think it is funny that after 15 years of being on my own....I am coming home to where it all started and with the two people who gave me this great life. In a way it's a proper send off to the next great phase of my life!

JAR

A Birthday Year to Remember

2010-04-16T11:04:00.000-04:00

"Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them."- Anonymous

Today back in 1976....a little fellow by the name of Joshua Emory came barreling in to this world. Although two weeks late...he proceeded to make his entry to the "real world" with a bang. 34 years later he is still making his presence known by all of the wonderful deeds he does for others.

Of course I am grateful that I am privileged to marry this sweet man....but I am even more humbled by all of the great characteristics he has that so often he shares with others. Josh is the guy that no matter what time of the day it is or where he is at in his own world.....if you ask for help he will literally stop what he is doing to come to your aid. Now...perhaps I am a little bias because I am his fiance', but I do speak with authority that I have seen his deeds in action many times with friends, family and co-workers. Occasionally a total stranger gets the benefit of his generosity as well. I think Josh is one of those rare people (similar to my brother Joe) that just enjoys doing for others and simply wants nothing in return. His reward is seeing others happy and that is trait I truly, truly admire.

So....on this great day in April...I wish the most giving and loving man I know...the best birthday ever. I look forward to many more birthdays together!

JAR

A little faith in the world

2010-03-24T14:49:00.000-04:00

"Without faith, hope and trust, there is no promise for the future, and without a promising future, life has no direction, no meaning and no justification."-Adlin Sinclair

Well, if you are like most Americans (or at least the 85% reported) who were happy with your health care before Sunday...you probably are having a hard time swallowing the pill that our government has just made us all take. Some days it is hard to have faith in the world in which we live and the leaders that are supposed to lead...but if you had the weekend I just had with about 40 high school juniors and seniors...you might have a little more faith.

When Josh and I first started dating, he constantly spoke of his involvement with "Search". I had no idea what this was but soon found out that it was something he was very passionate about. The program, based out of the Raleigh Diocese, is something that Josh did as a teenager and has now gone back to supervise for as an adult. The program is described as:"Search is a weekend retreat for 11th – 12th grade youth. Activities encourage self-discovery and reflections on relationships with others and with God. Retreat team is made up of past Searchers who model leadership, faith sharing, and ministry with their peers. Adults in youth ministry also attend and participate in Search".

Josh had mentioned many times that going to Search was a life changing experience for him. As a teenager, that seems amazing. I can't recall anything in my teenage years that was so profound. His passions for the event continued after he was in college and he has been volunteering as an "adult searcher" for the past couple of years. So as one could imagine, my curiosity about this grand program was always there. A few months ago, Josh asked if I would like to attend as an adult Searcher myself. So...without hesitation I decided to do so. Little did I know what I was getting into!

When I arrived on Friday night, I was greeted with 60 plus teenagers screaming and having a grand time. I thought to myself "Oh Lord...what have I gotten myself into?". However we (the adults and the kids) quickly were oriented on the pace of the weekend and what was to be expected. I learned within hours (and I say hours because we got there at 7pm and did not go to bed until 2:30am!) that this was going to be a weekend like no other. The evening started out with a young woman who "told us her story". Her story ironically enough dealt with her battles of depression and finding herself. My attention perked and I instantly knew that this was something I could relate to.

The rest of the weekend consisted of great "talks" from teens and adults. Each one telling a different story and each one emphasizing how they grew closer to God. I was so in awe by the bravery and courage for the kids to get up in front of their peers and share so much. I was more than humbled to share in the experience. The weekend posted many great events and memories,including a special visit from my future in-laws. I knew that I had made the right choice to participate in the program and I felt even closer to my faith and Josh.

The best feeling I had after walking away from the Search weekend was that I knew for sure that not only was the Catholic church in good hands....but so was the future of our country. These kids were amazing and each of them had so many great qualities that I know they will utilize them to the fullest. I know that they will take their love for the Lord and their passion for the message and spread it all around them.

So for those of you who doubt the world we live in...let me assure you that you can have Faith once again...we are in the best of hands!

Love
JAR

Cakes, Flowers, Dresses....Ohy!

2010-03-05T13:26:00.000-05:00

"Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry" ~ Tom Mullen

I have now been on this wedding planning ride for roughly three months now and it still amazes me how much there is to do. I mean I knew that planning a wedding would be a lot....but nobody tells you about all of the details...small details that take up so much of your time. I have to admit there have been times that I have thought about tossing the whole plan out the window and eloping (at a tropical location of course)...but then I refrain. Overall I see the big picture...but why does it have to be so time consuming and expensive? Ugh.

So on a brighter note...some of the wedding planning is a lot of fun. This week I chose the bridesmaid dresses (so fun) and Josh and I are cake testing tomorrow. I suppose there are some perks to planning. I am really looking forward to testing the cakes...makes this crazy diet I am on seem worth it. I have a sense that I may prefer one vendor over another simply due to their love of Pugs. Maxie B's is a quaint little bakery in Greensboro and they are known for their great cakes and cupcakes......but the owner also has three pugs of her own...so maybe that is a sign!

Also on Saturday, Josh will be taking me to the jeweler who designed my beautiful engagement ring. I can't wait to meet him and thank him for the wonderful job he did on recreating the beauty of my grandmother's ring. I also hope that he will be able to restore a pair of pearl earrings that my grandfather gave to me. They are a pair that he brought back from the Philippines to give to my grandmother....and now I own them. I really want to wear them on my wedding day. And finally on Sunday...we will meet with Father Kelleher (the priest who will marry us) to have lunch and review some of our pre cana work. He officiated my brother's wedding and he has been a long time family friend...love him!

So as you can see the madness never ends....but the one thing that I keep telling myself through all of this (other than the fabulous honeymoon) is that the day will make me Mrs. Hammond....FINALLY!

Love to all

JAR

Mrs. Saunders

2010-02-11T08:59:00.000-05:00

"A teacher's purpose is not to create students in his own image, but to develop students who can create their own image." ~Author Unknown

One of the most fun side effects of planning a wedding I have discovered is reuniting with old friends and family. Yesterday I started to receive the word that our Save the Dates were hitting homes across America. So not only is that great..but I guess this wedding is officially on! Just kidding!!

So yesterday I received the sweetest note on our wedding website from my 4th grade teacher...Mrs. Saunders. She had received my invitation and was excited to hear from me. Little does she know that I could not imagine having this huge life event without her....she is good reason I am the way I am today.

When I was young...let's say between the ages of 8 and 12....I really struggled with my self image. I was short, buck teeth and had glasses thicker than a coke bottle. I hated being me...hated it. At that age all I could see were the pretty girls around me that had none of my flaws and it just did not seem fair. Of course my parents always reassured me that it was just a phase and someday I would have straight teeth and contacts and that this "too shall pass". However when you are 10, your parents aren't exactly the ones you listen to.

I can remember being in Mrs. Saunders class like it was yesterday. She was a young, energetic blonde teacher who always dressed to the nines. She was funny, witty and if you did something wrong (or misbehaved)...she was not afraid to tell you. I LOVED being in her class. I would wait each day for her to tell us a story on her two children (Tommy and Byke). She always had funny stories about them...even disclosing how much Byke loved cheese....really loved it. In fact there were days that the class would beg her to tell a "Byke" story because they were always so funny. At that age I was still such a kid...I played school and I might have even still played with my Barbies...who knows. But I do know that I could remember thinking that someday I wanted to be like Mrs. Saunders.

Perhaps it was the way she took a genuine interest in my family or perhaps it was the way she made me feel when I did something great...but she was always so wonderful to me. One day I can remember her pulling me aside at recess and showing me her childhood yearbooks. She showed me pictures of herself when she was younger (also buck teeth and with glasses). She said that we all grow out of our phases and to not let the teasing or those around me get me down. What a moment. Till this day I can remember that conversation and how it forever changed my life. She saw how I struggled and really reached out to me...and she didn't have to. Which is why I would forever call her a mentor not just a teacher.

So when I see students today I always wonder if they have had a "Mrs. Saunders" in their lives. Teachers to me have the hardest job in the world and are paid so little. But perhaps most of them are not there for the money...they are there for students like me. Students who need more than just the curriculum but compassion and warmth. And if every student would have that experience than perhaps learning would not be so laborious.

I cannot wait to see Mrs. Saunders on my wedding day. I don't think she will ever know the magnitude at which she has effected my life. But perhaps on that day she will discover that the woman I am today....has a lot to do with the little girl she reached out to yesterday.

JAR

Embracing my love language

2010-02-02T11:41:00.001-05:00

In the Catholic church if you want to be married, you must participate in pre-cana (pre wedding) preparations. This includes attending classes about marriage preparation and counseling sessions with your priest. As a newly engaged couple, Josh and I were looking forward to this process. We felt that this would assist us in our journey with our faith as a married couple and our practical lessons on what to expect when we are finally together. Like most aspects of our relationship we really wanted to waste no time and get started. So two weeks ago we attended a "Couples Engagement" weekend with the church.

Our "weekend" took place at the Avila Retreat Center in Durham, NC. The facility was very tranquil and had a restful feel to it. The center is run by nuns...so we had great food and attention all weekend. Now I have to admit that before going into this weekend, I had a lot of expectations in terms of outcomes. I fully expected to get information on all of the aspects of the church's teachings (prayerful unity and Natural Family Planning to name a few) as well as practical hands on stuff for a successful marriage (financial tips and communication strategies). Although the weekend fell short in some areas....I felt that we definitely walked away with more of a "game plan" on how we wanted our marriage to be. The format allowed for plenty of time for Josh and I to discuss the bigger things that we wanted out of our marriage as well as the tiny details.

One of the highlights of the weekend was a workshop that we attended facilitated by an older couple who had been married for nearly 45 years. They spoke to the group about the importance of communication and how it can literally "make or break" a marriage. Good stuff. They also introduced Gary Chapman's "Five Love Languages". Now if you have not read this book or heard of these languages....you definitely need to check them out. The languages allow couples to understand how to "talk to each other". For example if you are a touch person and your mate is not.....that could cause problems if you did not know it. However if you understand your partner's love language, you are more likely to respond to their needs as well as yours.

Now keep in mind that I had read the book previously and had an idea of what my love language was. Of course it had been a few years since reading the book.....so I was anxious to see if I still "spoke" the same language. Josh on the other hand had not read the book, so this was all new to him. As we broke apart to take our language quizzes...I could not help but think what our outcomes would be. I knew we would be different. So when the results came back...we both laughed at where we stood. I clearly was a "Words of Affirmation" person. I spoke that language loud and clear and valued it in every aspect of my life.....not just my romantic relationships. Josh's love language was "Touch". Hilarious in one regard because "Touch" was my very last language in the rankings of the five. Clearly we knew we had some differences.

The great result of learning these love languages is that now we know how to really talk to each other. I know that I need to touch Josh more and he understands how important it is to affirm his love towards me. We had a lot of fun learning these new languages and we definitely made fun of ourselves for the rest of the weekend.

Knowing what each other needs now......can most definitely save a lot of headaches and heartaches in the future.

JAR

Mike, Mikey Joe, Squints or Michael..the Baby

2010-01-18T15:43:00.000-05:00

"To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time." -Clara Ortega

When I was a kid I used to be so embarrassed by the fact that I had three siblings. I mean when you are a teenager and your Mother is picking you up at school in a van full of young kids..... that was not always the "coolest" of situations. Plus, being the oldest of four children also had it's unwanted responsibilities. I remember changing lots of diapers and helping mom with things around the house. Not all of it was hard or taxing...but the fact that I had to stop playing with friends to babysit one of my brothers or sister was sometimes more than I could handle. I just wanted to go back to the days of being an only child or a "smaller" family. I often heard that we could not go here or there because there were too many of us and it would cost too much. It was always mortifying to go to a restaurant and tell the hostess that we needed six seats and likely a high chair! Geesh...always such a circus and production.

However over the years I have shredded my immature feelings about a big family and have embraced it even more. One of the most fun things about having so many siblings is discovering who you are most compatible with. As we each grew up in the house...it was obvious who was similar to who. Joe and Lynn were very similar in that they had such compassion towards others, excelled well in school and in athletics. They always had tons of friends and never had the personalities of stress or anxiety. Now Mike and I on the other hand were the opposite. Although Mike was much smarter and athletically gifted than I was .....we always had the same demeanor. We both tended to dramatize our lives and we made it a habit to question and ponder the bigger picture. We also had the most common sense out of the four of us. I think we could just about adapt to any situation if need be.....in fact Dad used to say that if we were all four trapped on an island....Mike and I would survive because we had the wits to...Joe and Lynn...well..they would struggle! LOL!

Mike has and continues to amaze me constantly. His zeal and love for sports is something I have long admired. Ask him anything about anyone and he knows the answer. He is also a human GPS system.....he can go anywhere once and will remember how to get there forever! He is often full of crap and tends to love anything that everyone else hates. I love that about him and it is so predictable at times it is almost comical. Mike was by far the quietest child growing up....and clearly I now know why. He was an observer....if he ever needed anything he had three older siblings to do it for him. But he also had the upper hand in so many ways. By being the youngest he discovered early on what to do and what not to do to stay out of trouble. In fact....I don't ever recall a time that Mike got punished. The rest of us.....well...let's just say that we "did our time".

Today Mike is all grown up and doing very well. In fact...I always tell people that Mike is living the life we all should at 25. He lives in a huge city with a bunch of his buddies. He has a great job and travels often. He is so much fun to hang out with as well. I love spending time with him at ASU football games and when it comes to taking sides on most issues....he usually sides with me! Sometimes I am amazed how stinking smart he is and wonder where does he store all of that knowledge? Not to mention that has the best sense of humor....but you have to look for it!

I look forward to seeing how Mike evolves in the next few years. He says he would like to go back to school to be a professor. I can definitely see him in that role. Students would be drawn to him and I think he has natural gift for helping and teaching others. He swears he is never going to get married or at least wait until he is 45. I beg to differ big time. I am convinced that some girl is going to come along and knock his socks off. However this girl has to be someone who can handle his wit, tolerate his passion for sports and love to watch all of his favorite TV shows (and put up with a not so clean car at times). I can tell you that she is around...and I might have already met her too! In the mean time, I will enjoy watching Mike embrace being a bachelor and continue to listen to his crazy stories.

I love you Mike!

JAR

Good things come to those who wait...and wait...and wait!

2009-12-29T14:31:00.000-05:00

I suppose I always thought I would follow my mother's timeline. You know...married at 24, kids by 26. So when the first milestone passed and I was not married or "with child"...I began to doubt the process by which life is supposed to go. So I thought of course by 30...I would have the "two car seats and a minivan" as Lee Ann Rimes would sing. Nope. Not in my cards. Evidently God just did not see that I should have that lifestyle just yet.....so I waited. I kept thinking after each bad relationship ended, "do I really have to endure another one?". Obviously so.

So when I decided reluctantly to start dating again this past January....I did so with very much trepidation. I went out on a couple of dates with a few guys and started to think...."this has got to get easier..right?" Nope. It does not. So when my high school friend Laurie emailed me to ask if I would be willing to be set up on a blind date with one of her friends...I was really NOT willing to go there. But...what did I have to lose? Boy...am I glad I took that leap of faith. That small leap...landed me right into the man of my dreams.

Nine and half months later I am happily looking ahead to a life with a man that fulfills every dream and desire that I could ever imagine. I have to think that every bad relationship, every "toad I had to kiss", every lonely New Year's Eve and every bridesmaid dress that had to be worn....can honestly be said to be worth it. I mean I felt that at some point the waiting would pay off.....but 40 was starting to come faster and faster every day! So here's to the future and to a life worth waiting for!

JAR

p.s. Stay tuned as I slowly move from a Single Southern to a Not So Single Southern and all the adventures of planning a wedding...Jenny Style! Love to all, but most of all, my husband to be Josh!

The Quiet Outlaw

2009-12-17T11:39:00.000-05:00

It is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that counts.- Adlai Stevenson

Some might have called him a wall flower, others would say he was just very quiet...but those that knew him well, knew he was far from both. My Uncle Jerry was by no means a flashy guy. He was always the man that stood in the back of the room at huge family events and always stepped aside when someone was flying through the kitchen at Nanny's. You never heard him complain about anything...and I mean anything. Uncle Jerry endured many dinners and events with our large nutty family including my lovable Uncle Jay! Oh boy....I know he will miss him!

Uncle Jerry had the wit and humor that could make you smile for hours. I can remember when I was younger having endured hours "in the front room" at Nanny's house, walking back to the TV room only to find Uncle Jerry sitting on the couch watching something that was always more interesting than the drama in the front room. He would always make a joke about not having to "put up with the front room drama" and ask if I wanted to join the crowd. And I always did. He was a funny guy, quick to crack a wise comment and the man that created the "outlaws". The outlaws were the husbands of the sisters. They would usually stand together at a function (usually at the back of the room) and make fun of everyone else (quietly of course). He was the ringleader and you would never know by his size and demeanor....but he was indeed the man with the plan!

My uncle was a family man as well. He was devoted to my Aunt Margie and was always by her side. I can't ever remember a time that there wasn't one without the other....they truly were a pair. I imagine like any couple they had their ups and downs, but you would never know it. They stayed true to each other and true to their children and grandchildren.Whenever either of their children needed anything (or grandchildren for that matter) they would help without hesitation and go over and beyond what was necessary to make everything better.I often thought that they reminded me of one of the couples from the "in between" scenes in When Harry Met Sally; they could always finish each others' sentences and thoughts...literally.

I can't help but think that when Uncle Jerry was diagnosed early this year with lung cancer he probably was scared. I imagine that was not a diagnosis he was prepared for. Heck...it's not a diagnosis anyone is prepared for. But in true Uncle Jerry fashion....he handled it in stride. Throughout his entire battle you would always seem him with a smile on his face and ever so often catch him saying something funny under his breath. Even last week, my father told me he was sitting up on the couch, wrapped in his blue snuggie making fun of Uncle Jay (lol)! Oh Uncle Jerry! Some things will never change!

So I would like to think that somewhere in heaven right now, my uncle is sitting somewhere in front of a beautiful pond, peacefully relaxing without any distractions. Of course...there might be a TV near by with a good western on...because after all...he is the quiet outlaw!

Love to you Uncle Jerry and to the Sides Family

JAR

Dear Lord.....

2009-11-25T10:44:00.000-05:00

Each night as I lay down to sleep I close my eyes and begin to say my prayers softly. This week I can't help but give more reflection as we begin the Christmas season. One could say that this is a difficult time of the year for me. It is hard for me to get in the "spirit" and even harder for me to tolerate the frills of it all at times. However I will pause and reflect a little more closely this year due to all that has occurred in the world.

Many friends have lost jobs, many loved ones have become ill and the tone of the world seems a little less joyous then most years past. However, I feel more thankful and grateful than ever before for all that I do have. I have been blessed with a wonderful family.I could not ask for more loving and fun people to surround myself with. I have been sent an angel this year who I truly see spending the rest of my life with. And as I have said all along...good things come to those who wait. I have friends who I am may not get to see often, but I know are always there. I have my health and memory and can function freely. I am able to get up and go to a job everyday that I love and I can put food on my table. I live in a country that is free and allows me all the opportunities in the world to be anything and everything I have dreamed I could be.

So Dear Lord on this Thanksgiving, thank you for this life you have given me and thank you for all that I have to look forward to.

JAR

Great Song. Great Meaning.

2009-11-20T16:48:00.000-05:00

If you have not turned on your radio in awhile.....take a moment to listen to this great new tune from country star Trace Adkins. The song, "All I ask for anymore" is a sweet and simple truth to what we all should think about his holiday season.

Take a moment to see for yourself.

JAR

"All I Ask for Anymore" video

Freedom isn't Free

2009-11-11T10:18:00.000-05:00

“The men and women who serve in our military have won for us every hour we live in freedom, sometimes at the expense of the very hours of the lifetimes they had hoped to live.”- Bob Riley

So on this Veteran's Day I would like to take the opportunity to thank those who have given of themselves so freely to defend this great country we live in. Not only have they sacrificed so much of themselves, but most likely the livelihood of their families and friends as well. I believe we live in no greater nation than America and usually it takes only one trip abroad to verify that if you can't realize it living here day to day.

In a time of uncertainty in the middle east, unsettling boarders with our neighboring countries and an overall poor economic climate, one would question whether or not the role of the military should be altered or downsized. NEVER before have we ever needed our military more and they will probably be asked to do more with less. It is without question that they often have a thankless job and that is unacceptable. So the next time you see an officer in uniform, be sure to thank them for the service they have provided to your great nation.

I would be remiss this Veteran's Day if I did not honor those in my family who have served or who are currently serving in the military. I have/had family members serve in all branches for the last 70 years going back to World War II. So on this day I say, "Thank you" .

Grandpa Ruggieri

Fuzz Weddington

Andy Weddington

Linnea Weddington

Matthew Weddington

Pete Weddington

Ken Weddington

John Pickett

John Kirk

Dean Sides

Brian Foil

Mark Trexler

Andrew Scruggs

Ryan Windam

God Bless America! JAR

My Little Sister

2009-11-06T13:22:00.000-05:00

When mom and dad don't understand, a sister always will. ~Author Unknown

I can remember the day that Dad took us to the hospital to meet our new little sister. I really was excited to think I was going to have a new little playmate around in the house. After all, Joe was no fun to play with. He was only four and all he ever wanted to do was play with balls. Basketballs, baseballs, footballs....balls, balls, balls. You get my point. So the idea of having a little sister who may want to play Barbies and dress up was really exciting. I could not wait.

So once we got to the hospital Dad said we had to pick a name for the new baby. He threw out a couple random ones (I even think Sarah was one of them) but I did not like any of them at all. When we finally got in to see the baby for the first time, Dad said "How about Lynn"? And I said, "Yes....Lynn is perfect"! And so...that is how the story goes (well for the most part). Lynn Marie was officially named that day. And to be honest with you, she really did look like a "Lynn". I could not imagine her as anything else. She was soooooo tiny and her little cheeks were so pink. I could vividly remember that one detail. It's funny because Lynn had rosy cheeks for years as a child. And even today she has a glow to her as well.

Lynn was tiny as a baby and I can remember whenever holding her that she seemed like a baby doll. Secretly I thought she was my own baby doll at times! I loved having a little sister and we had a great time growing up together. We would play school together, dress up together and do all the things that sisters were supposed to do. But as life goes....kids grow older and interests change. I got to a point where little sisters weren't so cool and I know those years were hard for Lynn. We didn't get to spend as much time together as she would have liked and I feel bad for that. She reminds me often that I let her down. But....I work hard today to try to make up for those years and I will work even harder to make our future even better.

Life now with Lynn is wonderful. I have been blessed to have had opportunities in the past 10 years to be in situations where Lynn and I have either lived close together or been able to see each other often. There is no doubt that I consider her my closest friend. To me the years between us mean nothing...there are just there. I look up to her for advice all the time as I tell her that she is the wise one in our relationship. She has such an old soul and giving heart. I am fortunate that we are able to be so close.

This past January, Lynn married a wonderful man by the name of Michael Beahm. She could not have picked a better match. I am thrilled to think that these two have a life ahead of them full of wonderful adventures and surprises. I look forward to seeing all their experience in life. I hope along the way Michael will allow me to snag Lynn from time to time to have some quality sister time! But if not (which of course I know he will).....I will know she is only a phone call or text away!

I love you Lynny! Happy Birthday!

JAR

Got to love him!

2009-10-23T14:15:00.000-04:00

Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.-Antoine De Saint-Expuery

Each day with Josh just gets better. Last night I took 10 of my freshmen from my course that I am teaching at Elon to the NC State fair. What a great time. Almost all of them are from up north so the experience was just that...."an experience". Josh was able to join us and meet "my kids" as I so often call them and see why I love going to class every Tuesday. They had a great time and needless to say...they had a lot to talk about on the van ride home on their night at the North Carolina State Fair!

While the kids were exploring the fairgrounds, Josh and I had the chance to spend some quality time together. Since our relationship is a long distance one, we cherish every moment we get...even if it is spent amongst the smell of hay, horse poo and screaming kids. We will take what we can get! We wandered around the grounds admiring all of the great food (and yes...we did partake, but did not over indulge) and all of the unique people. The state fair is by far one of the best people watching places in the world.

At one point in the evening Josh and I sat down to rest and nibble on a 'corn on a stick' and delicious funnel cake. Of all times and places we stumbled into a deep conversation about life, our future and where we our opinions stood on some very important issues. It amazed me that the world was spinning around us and here we were just talking away like no one existed. Josh and I have seen eye to eye on all major issues and we continue to do. Last night's conversation was just another confirmation that when times get tough (and I know they will) that he is the one that I want by my side to go through them with. He is open, honest and clearly communicates what he is feeling. Amazing.....if only all men were like this. But you know what? He is the only man that I need to be like that.

So as we approach month number eight in two weeks, I continue to enjoy every minute I get to spend with Josh. I know that life is not always perfect, we are not always perfect but I know for sure, that we are perfect for each other!

JAR

33

2009-10-16T16:30:00.000-04:00

“It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things.”

-Donald Miller

So I celebrated my 33rd birthday last week. I rang it in like I do all the others...with a lot of noise and ruckus. I made sure I let everyone know (for weeks...heck months) that is was coming and I even convinced myself that it was going to be bigger and better than all of the others. I think it's my way of disguising the fact that I am just getting older. In the midst of all the hoopla I never once stopped to think that I was actually turning a year older until the night of my birthday. When everything calmed down I stopped dead in my tracks to realize....."OH CRAP...I AM 33!".

Yeah, so I am a year older. So what. So I have a few more wrinkles, I walk/run a little slower. I can't drink as many beers as I used too and I sure as heck can't fit into my favorite pair of jeans like I did when I was in college. And there are the little things that annoy me (especially working on a college campus) on a daily basis. Like the fact that kids today have to play their music so loud. And everyone is in such a hurry to get somewhere. And clothes aren't made they way they used to be made (good quality). Nobody wants to take the time work for something....they want it now and I mean RIGHT now. I guess I am getting old.

But as I am a year older, I have discovered that I have noticed that I enjoy parts of life that I never used to. I actually stop to smell flowers now. Literally. I still drive fast.....but at least I use my turn signal and I am polite when I pass someone (if that is possible). I try to take the time to do one thing each week that is different for me (see a play, read a book, try a new food). I try not to judge as much or should I say...I try to give someone the benefit of the doubt more. I have mellowed quite a bit.

I laugh more, cry less. I argue less and listen more passionately. I still fall and tumble often, but I have learned that scraping your knees are ok and you just learn to pick yourself up and go. I have learned over the years that a broken heart is not hopeless. Love endures. I have watched death come and take those I love so dearly. I have seen the struggle of the world and the freedoms of many and challenge my own role in society.

It's funny sometimes. If someone were to tell me at 33 I would be analyzing the role of where I am and I what I feel at this point in my life thus far, I would have laughed. I never saw myself as such a person. But you can't help but put life in perspective at times.

Friends and family give me one heck of a time each year when my birthday rolls around because I make such a big deal about it. I guess in the end I make a deal because it's my way of bringing closure (or a celebration) to one great year and preparing for another.We never know how many of these "years" we have left.....so I like to think that rejoicing in each one is not such a bad idea.

Besides...you usually get great gifts and a yummy cake to go along with it!

JAR

The Pink Ribbon

2009-10-02T16:25:00.000-04:00

"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts - it's what you do with what you have left." ~Hubert Humphrey

Grandma Ruggieri was 38 years old when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer. That was 1962. At that time the world of medicine did not know how to handle the diagnosis of breast cancer...if anything they may not of understood cancer all together. So at that time, my grandmother did what she had to do to survive and had a mastectomy. And it was gruesome. With that procedure came no counseling, no follow-up and no rehabilitation back into the world in which she had to function...life with three children and a husband. So my grandmother did they only thing she knew how to do, she survived.

I have been told that through the next few years of my grandmother's life, she was in and out of the hospital for "nervous breakdowns" and various mental issues. As my father describes, it was a tough time in the house. I can only imagine that if no one around you had ever heard of what you had been through and then on top of that you physically could not recognize your body anymore...I would have had mental issues too. Today, those mental issues are called depression. Forty-five years ago, with the proper counseling and medication, my grandmother could have had a much healthier transition back to her life as she once knew it.

On October 30, 2002 my grandmother lost her 40-year battle with breast cancer. Although to many she may have succumbed to the disease that caused her such angst, I feel she was a survivor for so many reasons more. The day she died I could not help to think that it was a coincidence that her death occurred in a month that would signify a movement that has now transcending a nation..... finding a cure for Breast Cancer.

I had "heard" there was this thing called Breast Cancer Awareness...but I had not educated myself enough to fully understand the movement. However, on the day of Grandma's wake and funeral, the entire family wore the pink ribbon for the first time. And the entire congregation wore them as well. Many people did not know of the pink ribbon or what it meant either (unless we explained it to them) but it was powerful to have such grand yet silent form of support.

From that moment on I knew that Grandma's life and what she had endured would have more meaning and her survival should continue on. Since 2002 I have worn the pink ribbon every day during the month of October, but I have also taken the message of finding a cure for breast cancer as a personal philanthropy. Whether it's walking in the Race for the Cure every year or having a birthday themed party or even just advocating for more research dollars with my local representatives....I have made it a personal cause.

I was always close to all of my grandparents and I was there with my grandmother the last few months of her life. I made it a point to do the little things that she could not; paint her nails, do her hair, help her bathe and talk to her about funny stories. One of the strongest memories I have of Grandma Ruggieri was about two months before she passed away. I had slept in her bed one night because she was having trouble sleeping. She got up in the middle in of the night and was sitting on the edge of the bed. I asked her what was wrong. She said she was afraid that no one would remember her or no one would come and visit her (at her grave). I assured I would do both. She then asked, would I remember to bring her pink roses. I said I would.

I can't get to New Jersey often and when I do I always bring her pink roses. But for all the days I cannot....I wear the pink ribbon.

JAR

To find out the great things that are happening with Breast Cancer Awareness, please check out the Susan G. Komen Foundation

Ken

2009-09-25T16:34:00.000-04:00

“Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it." -Mark Twain

So I was traveling this week to Syracuse for a recruiting trip and I had the opportunity to fly for the first time in close to two years. When I fly I tend to be quite the social butterfly. I love to talk to complete strangers and learn about lives...not characteristic of me at all. I don't know why I am like that, but I am. Call it my "other personality". Ha!

So I had a unique encounter this trip. I met a driver from the hotel who picked me up from the airport early in the morning. Ken was your typical New Yorker who agreed to let me ride in the front seat...only if I promised not to tell the hotel. Agreed. Of course that only meant that I had the floor to ask him tons of questions about Syracuse. Of course I asked him all of the basics (how was the weather, did he like living there, did he ever see Paulis from Duke, etc.) and then some. When I asked him if he had lived there all his life, he said that he had not only because he was a retired marine and served 19 years for our country. Like many who served our country, he had a story to tell....and I listened. He went off to the military at a young age and served in the marines and picked up a trade. He loved his country and loved serving his country as well. Never regretted his decision. We spoke a long time about his life now with his wife and kids and the nightmares he still has. He reminded me that there are so many events that occurred to him over his time in the military that he will never forget.

Ken works three jobs. He has a paper route in the morning, he works for the hotel doing every little odd and end during the day and runs his cleaning business during the night. Up until a year ago he held a corporate job with Carrier until it folded after 15 years. When I asked him how he felt about juggling three jobs, he said "you do what you have to do. I am not too proud to work to make ends meet. I know times our tough and I know they will get better. If you told me two years ago that I would be doing this I would have never believed you....but life changes and you have to go with it."

Ken epitomizes to me what the human spirit is and what the American spirit is. Not only has he given so much to this country but he is asking for so little in return. When so many are walking around with their hands out right now without willing to do anything for it...here is a guy that we should help...but yet is willing to serve himself. Amazing.

It just goes to show you that there are still good, honest people out there willing to work and earn a living the right way. God bless America!

JAR

A whole a lot of compromise

2009-09-18T16:36:00.000-04:00

"In a relationship, when does the art of compromise become compromising?" - Sarah Jessica Parker

Well folks. It is hard to believe, but Josh and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary last week. And for those of you who have been following us on our journey.....it seems hard to believe that time has passed so quickly. We have had a great time these past few months and we have done more in this short period of time then most probably do in years of dating. Amazing.

However. As in every relationship....there comes a point where you hit a crossroads and we have hit ours. Some people stumble upon religion, some become heated on money or family. Ours ......COLLEGE FOOTBALL! Yep. Never in my right mind would I think that I would wait 32 (almost 33) years of my life for the man of my dreams to have "the talk" over our future over football. OK, now maybe I am maybe overreacting a little bit, but you get my point.

Here is the gist of the story. Josh is a die hard NC State fan. I am a die hard ASU fan. We are both season ticket holders. Not a huge deal....we are working through both schedules OK this season. I am trying to make it to some of his games as he is mine. The caveat? I am not a NC State fan. I am a Carolina fan. I BLEED Carolina blue. Problem. Huge problem.

So when I tried to explain this to Josh...he didn't see the issue. I tried to make him see that it was like going against the enemy (more like my whole family). I just could not do it. What made it worst was when I went to Raleigh one weekend and he surprised me by buying an ASU hat to show how he was committed to "compromising". Dang it. Now I really had to go all out. There was no way I could where red. I don't even own anything red in my wardrobe. I was devastated.

So the week of the first NC State home game I called my mother in near tears with panic. What do I do? How do I cope? She said, in the most motherly way she does, "Just tell people you had two uncles who went there." And.... "the UNC basketball team is better then State's....but the football team is probably better than UNC's." Yep. That did it.

And when I went to buy a t-shirt that night....I kept the receipt just in case. Compromise.

JAR

Mountaineer Football Season is BACK

2009-09-11T16:04:00.000-04:00

"Today I give my all to Appalachian"

Like the other 95,000 ASU alumni around the country, I have been waiting the last 10 months to see the mountaineer football team take the field. Ending last season with a lost to Richmond (the eventual National Champions) was bitter. After having ended the previous three seasons with a National Championship ourselves....going home a loser was no fun. Plus the anticipation of what this season would bring was even more agonizing. Sure, we have Armanti Edwards for another year; yes, we have a sparkling new facility and we have enough enthusiastic tailgaters to fill five stadiums. But will it be enough?

Will it be enough to carry us to Chattanooga? For those of you who don't know, Chattanooga is the host city for the Division I National Championship Game. The date is December 18th. I have every intention of being there....so much so that my hotel room is already booked and the work day is already been granted off. One small caveat....will my football team be there?

If last week's game against East Carolina is any indicator, we have our work cut out for us. The game itself was not a factor....we don't need it for playoff contention. If anything it was merely a "bragging" rights type of game. The only thing I hate about losing those types of games is the lip you get from instate fans. Uggh. Nevertheless......the game showed that we have a lot of work ahead of us. We had a poor first half and a tremendous second. Unfortunately....in the long run you can't win football games that way. This is a trend I saw a lot of last year....and my fear is that it is creeping it's way back into this season as well. Consistency has GOT to find it's way into the program. Fast.

So if Armanti can find his groove and can stay healthy (and not by mowing the grass I might add)...and if others mature into their positions, then maybe I just might be given an early Christmas present after all.

Go Apps!

JAR

Professor Jenny?

2009-09-03T15:08:00.000-04:00

“The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.”- William Arthur Ward

Yes it has been awhile since I have blogged....but for good reason. The world around me has been a little hectic. My work environment has officially begun it's open season (aka: the academic year is upon us). This past Friday I welcomed nearly 13oo freshmen to Elon University. Although I don't recruit for the undergraduate program directly, they directly effect all of our jobs indirectly if we don't fill the seats. My colleagues were a great support of me last month when my new group of Interactive Media and Law students arrived so it was only necessary and right to return the favor. We are all in this together!

This year will be unique for me though. I will for the first time, be teaching a class. I am teaching a Freshmen transition course entitled "Elon 101". I have 15 students for the entire semester that I will meet with every Tuesday for one hour. They have been given a detailed syllabus by me that includes topics ranging from time/stress management to having a full orientation of the library. Each week provides topics and areas that will help ease any anxieties that typically most encounter in the first semester. On top of teaching the class, I will also serve as the students' academic advisor. We will work together to design a schedule that fits their desired intentions for a major and help augment their independence into college life.

I have already had a great experience with this class. I have a great TA who has made the teaching transition a smooth one for me. I love my students and they seem (so far) to be receptive to my dorky personality. I try to go back to all of the feelings and concerns that I had 14 years ago and apply that to what they could be feeling as well. I keep the class light, open and most of all honest. I want them to always feel that my class is the one place they can go to ask anything and feel comfortable asking it.

As the semester moves on...I will keep you posted on my students and my progress as an Instructor. I have so much to learn.

JAR

p.s. Want to know how old you are and how young the class of 2013 is? Check out the Beloit College Mindset List. This is sent out every year to let us see what the class that is currently enrolling has been exposed to since their birth. Scary.

All in the name of work...well sort of.

2009-08-19T16:20:00.000-04:00

A little over a year ago, I took a new job at Elon University in the Graduate Admissions Office. In addition to recruiting and marketing for all of the graduate programs, I had a specific task of filling the new Master of Art's in Interactive Media that would be launched this fall (2009). Now I have been in Higher Education Admissions for over 8 years...and I literally did not know where to begin. I for one did not know what this program was and I had no idea how I was going to sell it. The first thing I did was immerse myself in research. I reviewed other schools who had similar programs (we were the only in the south) and what people did with the degree when they graduated.

After traveling on the road in the fall recruiting students I had a broader base of knowledge of what type of student we were profiling and what I needed to grasp in order "speak the language" of the students. One of the largest components of iMedia is the world of social media. So...I became engaged in Facebook, I learned how to blog, I discovered why people tweet (actually...I still have not figured that out completely), and I buried myself in this new world. Funny thing happened along the way. I began to enjoy my job a lot more.

I soon discovered I not only took to this program......but it took to me. I assumed a great deal of ownership in every aspect of the process for the students (all the way down to orientation and their financial processes). I wanted to "touch" whatever I could to make sure that I understood what they would encounter so I knew how to speak to them. My work allowed me to switch my PC to a Mac. I have the Creative Suite and all the bells and whistles to boot. Everyday I read all the online local papers catching up on the latest happenings.

One of the greatest side effects of this program for me has been the infiltration of new media in our other programs. I have been able to see the use of blogs and social media used to market our MBA, DPT and M.Ed programs....something that would never have been thought of before.

Although we have successfully enrolled a full class for the inaugural year and things look absolutely fabulous for the coming year....I believe we still have great things to come. As for me, I am kind of hooked on the personal blogging. It has become an outlet and a great way to share my thoughts to those dearest to me. So, if you are willing to continue reading....I am willing to continue writing!

Stay tuned!

JAR

Elon Graduate Blog- (By: Jenny Ruggieri)

Elon Graduate Twitter (By: Jenny Ruggieri)

Crazy Pug

2009-08-14T11:14:00.000-04:00

Last night Josh and I decided to play with Winston after our long day. It was a simple task. One flash light and lots of giggles. Take a look! Ahh poo!

JAR

Thinking of a way to change

2009-07-24T10:04:00.000-04:00

Life's Tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.-
Benjamin Franklin

A week back from a wonderful beach vacation with Josh and his family and I am in full work mode. Already stressed a bit, it's hard to believe that one week of complete relaxation followed by a week of work can spin you back into a cycle of unhealthy angst. I feel different this week...I have been very somber and pensive...almost reflective in many areas of my life. Not sure where it is coming from...perhaps a mid-year self evaluation....but nevertheless..it is indeed occurring. It is hard to explain to others around me what I am thinking, feeling, sensing or even embracing in each of my thoughts. I am all over the place.

I think it is fair to say I have always been a thinker. Some would argue and say that I am more of a worrier and in fairness I am that too. But I do a lot of thinking as well. Sometimes I tend to think of ideas, new ways to do things and the thoughts sometimes come at the most random of times. For example I can be standing at the check out line and be thinking of ways that my job could be more efficient or I could be eating and wondering if the food could have been prepared a different way. My mind is always on. Always. This is probably why I never sleep well and I am usually engaged in another conversation in my head when someone is talking to me. Weird I know....but we all have our quirks I guess.

Lately, however my thinking and my thoughts are more focused. I am very driven in my life and my purpose. I suppose we all cross these bridges at some point (me more frequently than others I assume), but why and what are we really supposed to do with them. For me I seem very centered around the issues of the world. I am troubled by the state of the economy and how close it continues to effect my family and friends. I worry (yes...that word is evil I know) daily if this country is strong enough to heal itself or will we live through another depression like our grandparents. I think about my role in the world now as a 32 year old woman and if I should be doing more to make it better, healthier, more godly and if so....where do I start? I think sometimes that the role for me now is much different for me than it was ten years ago....but do I know what it is? So much thinking and little doing.

When I returned from my vacation last week, I realized that I have to start doing things differently. Time is precious and if I am going to do anything with my "thinking".....I better get going. So in the last few days I have been praying more than usual. I know that sounds funny...as if my prayers will somehow "fax" me down an instruction sheet on what to next....but I am hoping they will at least give me strength and courage. I am seeking grace and guidance for the things that I have wanted to do. I sense that I have a purpose...as does everyone I suppose....but I have felt more than ever that I am being tugged to search and fulfill that purpose now. I am not sure where, when or how I will discover mine, but I know that I am now ready to begin to look for it.

A dear friend of mine told me this week that I have a knack for wanting to help and fix all of the problems around me....but most of the time they are not mine to fix. The good thing is that I had the intention. That made me feel good and assured. I believe there are areas of life that I can heal, assist, learn, love, and mend I just need to discover what they are. I may not be the one to fix the economy, cure cancer, or bring peace to the middle east....but I may be the one who can bring a change to just one person. And that is enough for me. So as I continue to struggle each day on where my next step in life will take me....I will continue to trust that I am ready.

JAR

Missing Poo!

2009-07-09T10:16:00.000-04:00

Oh how I love my Winston (poo is his nickname)! And as I prepare to leave for a whole week to the beach with Josh, this will be the longest I have ever been away from my little man. Now I must admit, he will be in great hands as he will be staying with his Nana Ruggieri! What a relief....the thought of having to board him for a whole week just made my heart hurt. Granted his Vet has a wonderful boarding unit and the techs there are great....but they just cannot give him the love and attention that his Nana can!

I am going to miss this little guy.....all of his shedding, heavy breathing and obnoxious behavior! But most of all....I will miss his unconditional love.However, I know he is going to have a great time with Nana taking long walks, eating special treats and getting some one on one attention that he so desperately loves!!

Thanks again to Nana for taking Winston for the week! Ahh Poo!

JAR

Dos Taquitos

2009-07-06T15:56:00.001-04:00

http://www.dostaquitosnc.com/

Um......I have a new obsession and I thought I would share it with the world. Josh as you know lives in Raleigh.....and has introduced me to an awesome Mexican restaurant called: Dos Taquitos. Now the environment is eclectic and very unique...you would never know you were in Raleigh. When I first went with Josh and our friend Laurie, I played it safe and ordered the chicken Quesadilla. However,they both raved about the steak tacos. I thought... "what is the big deal anyway .. I don't even eat a lot of red meat." Well....the next time I went back.....I tried them...and let's just say the rest is history.

These steak tacos are so good that I dream about them. Literally. Words do not do them justice. So the next time you are in Raleigh....be sure to check out this great little treat and be sure to top it off with one (or two...maybe three) of their yummy margaritas too!

Ole'

JAR

June 29, 1974

2009-07-06T14:42:00.000-04:00

"We are told that people stay in love because of chemistry, or because they remain intrigued with each other, because of many kindnesses, because of luck. But part of it has got to be forgiveness and gratefulness." - Ellen Goodman

So, I don't know where you were on Saturday, June 29, 1974.....but I was just a mere twinkle in someone's eye for the future. My parents on the other hand were bracing themselves for a life altering decision....MARRIAGE!

Picture the setting: It was mid-afternoon in Salisbury, North Carolina and family and friends were gathering at my mother's home church, Sacred Heart Catholic Church. (http://www.salisburycatholic.org/). Relatives from New Jersey, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, South Carolina, Virginia....you name it....came together to celebrate this special gathering. Oh...and don't forget all of the cousins and second cousins...plenty of those to go around. My Aunt Laura (my Dad's only sister) was not able to attend because she had just given birth to my cousin Anna Marie. However, my Grandfather Kirk (Pop-pop) was able to walk my mother down the aisle which was a great joy considering how sick he had been for the last couple of months.

So as my Dad was making the final touches on his lime green tuxedo I can only imagine what was running through his mind. At the time he was 23 years old (about to turn 24 in September) and we marrying a young, beautiful redhead from the south. Fresh out of college and well into his first hear at Price Waterhouse, I am sure the world seemed huge and bountiful to him. Life seemed easy perhaps and the years to come probably did not phase him at all (well....not that much at least).

My mother was preparing too with all of her maids in waiting. I probably should mention that this was no small wedding. With seven siblings on my mother's side, you can imagine how large the bridal party was. My mother was gorgeous though and if I could have been a fly on the wall, I would have imagined her to be very calm and patient....as she is now. I know she was very much in love with my father and even went to great lengths to be with him when the timing was not always the best. In my thoughts I imagine her that day in her handmade dress slowly walking toward the main doors of the church with my grandfather waiting to walk down the aisle to greet my father. What was she thinking? Did she share the same optimism as my father did? Did she see the world as wide open as he did?

For years as a child I always had the dream of being at my parent's wedding. I always secretly wanted to be the flower girl....but I guess that would not have worked out well...logistically of course! I sometimes think that my sister and her husband Michael share a courtship and wedding story similar to my parents'. I guess that is why I smile so much when I look at the two of them and see their wedding pictures side by side.

Last week my parents celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary. To many in my world, this seems daunting. So many of my friends our products of divorced families and unfortunately....many themselves have been divorced. I relish in the fact that I can say my parents are still together after 35 years.

I am not naive to think that their journey has not been hard, frustrating and at times to the point of utter angst. But unlike most couples today, I believe my parents have carried something with them from since the day they were married. I think they both still see a part of the world as "theirs" and wide open. I see them look at each other sometimes the way that I can only imagine the way they did on that Saturday afternoon in front of all of their friends and family. I believe that they know working together through the good and the bad and the tool of forgiveness is key for survival. I envy that kind of love and that kind of relationship. I can only hope that I replicate some of that in a marriage one day. One can only be so fortunate.

Love to you Mom and Dad!

Jenny

The Golfer's Special

2009-06-23T22:03:00.000-04:00

Last week I had the pleasure of spending a long weekend at Myrtle Beach with Josh and his parent's. I like to call it my "trial run" for the week that is scheduled in July with the WHOLE family. Smile. I have to admit....I was a little nervous about spending four days with just the parents. But after just the first 5 minutes in the door of the condo.....I knew it was going to be a great time.

I can easily see where Josh gets most of his traits from while spending time with Pam and Bil (Josh's parents).

Bil is very easy going and loves to crack a wise remark when he can. But ever so the gentlemen, he is always making sure that everyone is taking care of. Very sweet. I thoroughly enjoyed our political conversations and how much better the world would be if he and I could just run it! Move over Obama! Ha! I have to admit....I am already missing our late nights in front of the TV watching the Fox channel (minus me snoring on the couch!) But of course...Bil also has other great talents too...so don't be fooled. I discovered that he can make a mean margarita, he's been known to crank out a few unique dance moves to "Brickhouse" and he also loves to stroll the beach for seashells (or at least that's what he told me he was doing on those long walks....smile).

Now, Josh's Mom is by far the glue in the family (don't tell Bil that or I won't get invited back!). She always made sure I was comfortable, well fed and well attended to (by her, Bil or Josh). You can't beat that service. Maybe I should start asking for that from my own family. Yeah right....who I am kidding! Pam was great to be around because she was always smiling and she is one of those individuals in life that just make you feel good. If she was not smocking for the next baby's outfit....you could catch her reading, napping on the beach...or talking to her sweet Jordan. I loved my time with Pam when Josh was not around. It allowed for us to talk about girl stuff and to really get to know each other. I loved those moments!

I have some fun memories of the weekend, but by far my two favorite are centered around food (shocker to anyone that knows me!). Two out of three mornings Josh and I were there, we ate breakfast at a local favorite, Akels. It has been around since 1975. Simple breakfast food, inexpensive and great service.

Well. I have to tell you on the first morning we ate at Akels, I was really hungry....REALLY hungry. So when I was looking at the menu, one of the specials caught my eye, 'The Golfer's Special'. Not that bad....three pancakes, three eggs and two sausage links. Well....clearly my eyes were bigger than my tummy! I could not finish the meal. But I NEVER heard the end of it from Bil for the rest of the vacation! That's ok...I will redeem myself in July! Ha!

My second favorite spot had to be Painter's Homemade Ice Cream. I made it clear very early on that I LOVE ice cream....so on our last night in town....we drove to one of the oldest homemade ice cream spots on the strip. Let me tell you....it was GOOOOOOD. I think when I go back in July, I made need to go a couple of times to test a few more flavors! Yum.

Overall the trip was great and for a girl trying to work her way into a super family....I feel privileged to have just had the opportunity to get some QT with Josh, Bil and Pam! Looking forward to Camp 52 in July and all that comes with it! Yikes?

JAR

p.s. Some information on the restaurants I mentioned above!

Akel's Family Restaurant
6429 N Kings HwyMyrtle Beach, SC 29572-3008
(843) 449-4815‎

Painters Homemade Ice Cream
2408 Highway 17 SNorth Myrtle Bch, SC 29582-4344
(843) 272-6934‎

2009 Susan G. Komen Race

2009-06-17T11:45:00.000-04:00

As Josh and I got closer to the main fields where everyone was gathering, I could see more clearly the faces of the crowds of people. There were young, old, able, unable, black, white, skinny, fat, survivors, supporters of survivors, men, women, and everything in between. And it struck me that after all these years of doing this race (7 and counting) I never really stopped to take the time to appreciate all of the diversity in those that are affected by breast cancer. Or any cancer really.

The race was amazing, as I participated for the first time in the Raleigh region. Compared to the 10, 000 that I am used to in Winston-Salem, Raleigh had over 22,000 walk/run. Over 2 million dollars were raised and 1.7 of that is kept in the capital city. Usually in the past I typically go to the race and take in the experiences of the vendors and walk/run in the race and go home. This year I had very different experience.

Of course this year, I brought Josh with me and he was experiencing his first 5k and his first Komen Race.....so that was a lot of fun. But I personally did a lot of watching and "soaking" as I like to call it. As we would walk around the main vendors before the race, I actually watched the interactions of families, teams and supporters. I read t-shirts, watched as friends and families took pictures, I smiled as I would see a survivor walk by with a sign that said "survivor, 1 year or 20...." it did not matter. Survivor was all I needed to see. And when we walked the course, people were lined along the streets with banners and signs that had words of encouragement not only for the survivors, but for the walkers for fighting for a cure. One older woman sat on her porch all alone holding a sign that said," Survivor, 30 years and counting". She had to be a least 80 years old. I could not help but tear up and think of my grandmother. She was a 30 year survivor.

The whole race was exhilarating this time and perhaps it was the way I was supposed to have experienced it this time. You see, this year was my 7th year and I was beginning to get an "itch". Before the race, I was wondering if my time had run it's course for this cause. Because no one could walk with me this year in my family and because I had to go to a new city....I felt that there were too many "signs" that led me to believe that perhaps it was time for a change.

However nothing could be farther from the truth.

This race reinvigorated me as if I had just discovered this as my grandmother was slowly dying. The experiences that I had on Saturday were there for me to realize that I am needed more than ever to continue to help support the cause. I know that we still need to continue to raise awareness for funding, we still need to educate women for early detection and we need to keep fighting for coverage earlier. So I clearly see that my role is not over and my work is far from being over. What a gift I was given at the race, what a gift.

Perhaps the lesson for me, as with anything in life, is that every once in awhile it is healthy to stop and look at things from a different perspective. It allows me to clean out the cobwebs, shake up the creative juices and allow for the energies that once motivated me in the first place!

JAR

p.s. For more information on the Susan. G. Komen Foundation : http://www.komen.org/

Flying High

2009-06-17T11:14:00.000-04:00

So if you have never had the experience of jumping out of the plane ....but always wanted to......but maybe never had the guts to do so.....I highly recommend that you try Indoor Skydiving first. Last week I had the opportunity to do just that with my co-workers on a staff retreat down in Raeford, NC (near Fort Bragg, NC). The experience to say the least was AWESOME! I literally had the chance to hover at 12o mph and experience floating and then "fly" at 160 mph. It was enough for me to be convinced that I indeed want to jump out of a plane (someday).

Perhaps I was meant to be in the Army or something....maybe my next career?

Regardless....I highly recommend the experience!

JAR

Change

2009-06-02T12:16:00.000-04:00

Nothing in the world is permanent, and we're foolish when we ask anything to last, but surely we're still more foolish not to take delight in it while we have it. If change is of the essence of existence one would have thought it only sensible to make it the premise of our philosophy.- W. Somerset Maugham

It's hard to believe that two years (this May) has already past since our family took our big trip across the big ocean. Mom emailed us all last week each day with memories from her journal. It was fun to reminisce about all of our fun adventures and think back to how quickly time flies. It was only yesterday that we boarded that long flight and took off for an 11 day whirlwind adventure to our home country Italy. Who would have thought we would have 1.) survived and 2.) had the pictures to prove we had the times of our lives. I can't help but smile when I think of our little inside jokes and stories that no one else will ever understand but the six of us. In a sense that was the last family trip we took before we our family started to grow and change forever!

While in Italy we had the chance to have a lot of "together time" while riding on the train and walking in the villages...so it was neat to catch up and really talk to each other. It was the first time in a long time that we had no real distractions and I rediscovered by siblings and parents. It was a real gift. I knew deep down that they truly had not changed and would never change at the heart of things....but that they would grow and move on in their lives. So for me, the trip was an opportunity to pause and appreciate each of them before they started their next journey's in life. At the time I probably did not appreciate the gift that had been given to me.....but I certainly appreciate it now. And for all those Italian meals where we sat around and talked and laughed....as the commercial says....priceless.

It's amazing to think in just two short years how much has already changed in our family. At the time of the trip, Joe and Kerry were not even engaged and now they are married. Lynn and Michael were just in the early stages of dating and now they are married. Mike had just graduated from ASU and was starting the MAP program at B of A and now he is a full-time associate. And me...well, I was hanging my hat up the School of the Arts and starting my job at the Broyhill Group. Now I am at Elon, I have my little guy Winston and I am dating a fabulous guy. Time flies and with a blink of an eye the world changes around us.

I am not so much worried anymore about changing....because I know it is the only thing that does occur for sure. I guess at times I just wish I could slow the pace down. However I do look forward to the times ahead and all the wonderful changes and transitions that our family will experience!

JAR

I Cross My Heart....

2009-05-21T14:49:00.000-04:00

Well, George Strait did not sing 'I Cross My Heart' for Mom ( I think he only is allowed to sing it for his wife)....but he did sing close to 23 other of his best songs included a 3 song encore which included a great Johnny Cash tune. The evening, which was an early 35th Anniversary gift for Mom and Dad turned out to be a lot of fun. Thanks to Josh, we got treated with the VIP royalty! Mike and Joe had a great time to say the least (they loved the access to the VIP lounge); Mom and Dad enjoyed just singing and people watching, and I of course was amused by seeing Josh run around all night. I can't determine what my favorite part of the evening was. It's a toss up between Joe and Mike meeting Josh for the first time, hearing Mom declare that her "next" concert she was wearing a mini jean skirt and cowgirl boots or could it have been Joe riding the bull, Mike drooling over Julianne Hough, or might even have been the boys trying to sing along to every single word of George's song? I don't know. I do know that I was the one that had to ride in the middle of frick and frat all the way back to Burlington. Now that was a treat for sure! All in all......I would not trade one moment. It was perfect....and as George would sing..."It just doesn't get any better than this"

JAR

Our view from the VIP Box

The boys getting "in good" with the BF

Need I say more?

Joe in his Cowboy state of mind

My "Cowboy". Ahh shucks!

The two that started it all 35 years ago....

The family....minus Lynn, Michael and Kers...we missed you!

Chicken gizzards?

2009-05-11T16:40:00.000-04:00

So it was my first trip to Goldsboro this weekend to visit Josh's parents. And of course while I was there I had to try out the famous Wilber's BBQ. My brother Joe said he always eats there when he travels through to Morehead City with his buddy Jackson...and it's been noted as one of the best on the "eastern" part of the state. Indeed it was. I enjoyed every bit of mine including the banana pudding. However it did take me a second to remember that it was "eastern BBQ" and the slaw was white not red. Smile. The best part of the meal was watching Josh's Dad eat chicken gizzard's!! Have you ever heard of such a thing? Well, I suppose there is a first for everything. And I know what you are thinking....I did not try it. There are some things in life I just rather not know about! So if you are ever in Goldsboro...be sure to stop by Wilber's and as for some of that yummy BBQ and if you are up for it....ask for the chicken gizzard's too!

http://www.wilbersbarbecue.com/

Thanks for a great visit Pam and Bill!

JAR

What a Guy!

2009-05-08T11:18:00.000-04:00

It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun-Longfellow

Ta Da! So there he is.....Mystery Man himself. Josh. Yes....I asked his permission before I threw him into my world of fame. I made sure he was OK with the limelight, autographs, talk shows and the endless gossip that was bound to come his way. After all....he has been a mystery for so long! He said he was OK with it....so be gentle with him.

So one can assume that if I was brave enough to put Josh on the blog that things must be going well. Assume correctly. Folks, life just does not get much better than this! For all of the bad relationships, the relationships that were good but just were not the right fit, for the late nights crying wondering if I would ever find that right Mr. Someone for me......my time has arrived. I am very much enjoying my time in this relationship and I am enjoying every minute I get to spend with Josh. There is no doubt that he has been sent to me (or is being paid very handsomely by my father to get me off his hands!).

I am not an easy person to get along with....I am the first to admit that. I would like to think that I have some positive attributes....but in the end I believe the negatives far outweigh the positives. However, Josh never makes me feel that way. He always makes me feel good about myself and I am actually sitting on a pedestal for the first time in my life. I have to admit...I like it up here! He is a patient man and he understands that I am not and at times....space is what I need the most. He doesn't even need to be asked....he just quietly steps away. But he also has a knack of stepping in when I need it the most. What a guy!

Josh comes from a wonderful family, a loving family and is surrounded by a great group of friends. So it was very easy to explain to him how important my family was to me. He has embraced that we are close and little nutty and that we truly enjoy being with each other. He has also taken on the task of embracing the "other" family member as well.....little guy Winston. So much so that he now brings him Dingos and toys. Winston sits with him on the couch now, not me. Clearly, the dog 's affection can be bought! Ha! Overall...he tolerates the shedding, my obsession for him and the need to factor his presence in all of our travels.

I think at my age I know a good thing when I see it....and I have a good thing! How we got here is a great story and where we are going will be even a better one. I look forward to telling those for years to come. In the mean time I will continue to learn more about Josh and hope that he will learn more about me. I also hope that I don't do anything to mess it up! Yikes!

Boone...Home Away from Home

2009-04-23T12:06:00.000-04:00

There is no place like home...or at least a second home. Going to school at Appalachian State was more than just a college experience for me, it was a life experience. I loved everything about the environment, the people and the way of life. For me I could not have picked a better place to spend my collegiate experience. I was also fortunate enough to work a few years for the University after I graduated, which allowed me to also really embrace the "mountain spirit." My parents fell in love with the area as well, so much so that they built a little cabin in the woods that allows all of us to come back and visit every once in awhile.

This weekend I am heading up ole 421 for the first time in 4 1/2 months. Folks, that is the longest this girl has be away from the mountains. My heart aches I miss it so much. I look forward to seeing the parkway, my Alma mater, tasting a little BYB, walking down King St. and even spend a little time in the tourist trap known as Blowing Rock. One thing I know for sure....I cannot let this happen again. Boone provides a therapy for me that no medicine on the market can.....peace.

Perhaps somewhere down the road I will be fortunate enough to have my silver years in the mountains. I can only hope. In the meantime, I will enjoy these upcoming weekends gloriously and never take them for granted.

JAR

Crows Feet

2009-04-16T16:11:00.000-04:00

"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forewards"- Soren Kierkegaard

So I started my morning off like I always do....begrudgingly climbing out of the bed placing one foot on the floor at a time. As I sat at the edge of the bed, I thought to myself, I really have to be too old for this. You know, too old for getting up, getting ready for work deal? I mean how do people do this everyday for 30, 40 or even 50 years. And what about the people who do it three to four hours earlier than me everyday. Just too hard. I am never going to survive being a mother.

As I waddled to the bathroom I heard Winston in his crate snoring....lucky dog. He has the life. All he has to do is lay around all day, eat and go to the bathroom. Occasionally he has to pretend to like me, but other than that, he has it made. At that moment I am convinced that I am coming back as a dog in my next life. Decision made.

So I venture into the bathroom and start running the water for the shower. As I bend over to adjust the temperature I feel a ping go up my back. Ouch! Where did that come from? All of the sudden I felt sore all over and realized I just was moving a lot slower than I was used too. Probably just a slow start. As I got into the shower and started my normal routine I could not help but notice that my feet looked a little different. No wait...a lot different. I was developing a bunion on my foot. What? No....could not be! I have great feet...better yet...beautiful young feet. Could this be a sign?

As I quickly finished up in the shower I got out to start blow drying my hair. Now as I was doing that you have to imagine that I was starting to analyze every portion of my body at this point. Is that a varicose vein on my thigh? Do I have more cellulite than normal? And what about those tiny little lines by my eyes when I smile or heck....even when I don't smile. It was then and there that I realized....I was getting old.

Old. Me...old? Well I suppose it had to happen at some point....but I always thought it would happen when I was say, 75? Oh shucks, who I am kidding. I guess it was bound to happen to me....I just was hoping that I might prolong it just a few years longer. However, I keep thinking that I HAVE to have genes on my side. All of my mother's siblings look at least 10 years younger than their age (if not younger). So maybe I will have a little luck working in my favor.

In the meantime, I am just going to keep on living and keep on praying that perhaps those crows feet will just slow themselves down a pace or two.

P.S. And to my Mystery Man, Happy Birthday! To a guy who defies age and lives everyday to the fullest!

The Little Man in my Life

2009-03-30T15:34:00.000-04:00

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. -Roger Caras

A little over a year ago....I decided to take the plunge and commit myself to the man of my dreams. Some thought that I would never settle down.....but it took a special guy to bring me over to the other side!

Winston was small, a little hairy and liked to kiss alot. He snored (which took a while to get used too) and demanded a lot of attention. Once we got over the initial "getting to know you" phase of living together....we really set into a nice routine. We would get up in the mornings and have breakfast and usually he would hold down the fort as I went off to work. After work we would usually take a nice walk or hang out at the dog park to see all of his friends. Some nights we would even hang on the couch and watch a little TV....depending what we were in the mood for.
Oh we have had our differences for sure. For example......Winston is not one for sharing. He never likes to share his food, toys or even his time with me. Whenever I bring a friend home he is very funny in the way he handles them. Usually he nibbles....whines or even throws a toy at them to see if they are going to pay him the attention he so deserves (at least he thinks!). We are slowly working on "sharing" Mom......and perhaps in the future he will come to understand that he is not always the center of attention. Of course...I have to admit....I am kind of an attention grabber myself....so maybe he learned a little of that from me!

All in all I would not trade the little guy for the world. I always tell everyone he is by far the best investment I have ever made in my life. He has brought so much joy and peace to me and has allowed me to experience life as it should be. He has also taught me a very simple lesson: "Don't sweat the small stuff". Before he came along I was so anal about being neat, organized and "to the tee" on every detail of life. Ok...maybe I still am a little tight on some of those things....but for the most part I have lightened my load a great deal. Winston has taught me the beauty of unconditional love and the spirit of giving. I no longer always think of myself ....in fact I would do anything for him. It pains me to have to put him in the kennel, leave him at home or ever see him suffer.

God works in mysterious ways. I know I am a slow learner and most definitely a slow student in the world of marriage, children, etc. However I believe that Winston was a gift given to me later in life to prepare for the future. I am more confident than ever now that I can "live" with someone else, that I can love and I most certainly have the tools to give of myself to others. So on this day, I say thank you to the Little Man in My Life, Winston!

Ahh...Pooh! Love you!

My Brother Joe

2009-03-24T14:10:00.000-04:00

"A friend is a brother who was once a bother" ~Author Unknown

My brother Joe is a probably one of the most unique individuals you will ever meet. He is unique in the sense that he is who he is and he makes no bones about it. For those that know him well knows that he has a nickname for everyone (little, pops, moms, c, d, slats); he continues to carry out every tradition from his childhood; eats ice cream from the container (and leaves the spoon in there when finished); calls my mom and dad often to talk about the weather, Carolina games or even what they are having for dinner that night; he is notorious for his gaseous conditions; he has a bad habit of trying to do everything at one time and he loves to "taste" everyone else's food at the dinner table. Joe is unique alright.

But Joe is unique in other ways too. You see Joe is two years younger than I am and while we were younger I always felt like the big sister. However as we have grown older....the roles have shifted and I have now looked to Joe as my big brother. He has matured into such a loving individual. Not that Joe was not loving and giving as a child, but when you are a kid....you don't easily recognize those traits!

Joe is a giver, has always been. He is always willing to share anything that he has and if he doesn't have it....he will find it and give it to you. A story that is rarely told but I find compelled to tell it here is one that my youngest brother told of Joe on a trip out west years ago. Mike was staying in San Francisco with Joe while doing an internship for a week. While coming back one night over the Golden Gate Bridge it was rainy and cold. As they drove a long, they passed a man who was shirtless. Mike said that Joe slowly pulled the car over and ran over to the guy pulled off his own shirt and put it on over onto the man who was walking. Joe hopped back into the car and not another word was said. That is just Joe. He never does anything to grab attention or to gain brownie points.....he just "does".

Each day, Joe walks around with a rosary in his pocket. He never says a cuss word. He calls my father faithfully every Sunday morning and he is a pillar in each of his siblings lives....not to mention an adoring husband. I have never met anyone like Joe before and I truly believe he is the most giving person I have ever met in my life (and I am not just saying that because he is my brother). If we all took just a quarter of the care that Joe puts into others.....the world might just be a little lighter. And I believe God would be at peace. I look forward to watching Joe move into fatherhood someday because I know he will instill within his own children all of this warm and sincere traits that he carries with him each and everyday.

I love you Joe!

Nothing Finer than Carolina!

2009-03-24T11:11:00.000-04:00

On Saturday....my brother Joe treated my parents and I to tickets to the second round of the NCAA tournament in Greensboro. What an exciting day! We were only a couple rows behind the Carolina bench, inches away from Hansbrough's Dad and within eyesight of the song sheets of the Tarheel Pep Band! It was a lot of fun....and my mother was in Carolina Heaven. I am just glad we were able to also pull off the win (Please stay healthy Lawson...)! Let's just hope we keep on winning....go heels!

Old Friends and Stars

2009-03-19T14:18:00.000-04:00

"Good friends are like stars.....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there"-Anonymous

Julie and I met when I was 15 (the summer before my sophomore year in high school). I thought she was the funniest person I had ever met. I should have known then that she was going to be around for a long, long time. Since that day Julie and I have had some fun times. We have shared a lot of peppermint patties over the not so great times and as we got older a beer (or 10) when we really wanted to have some good times!

In the past few years as we both have gotten older our lives have become more hectic. Julie got married and started a successful career as a real estate agent and moved to Charlotte. I went my way and well...by now...you know my story. Smile. But as most friendships do, they change. I realized a year or two ago that my relationship with Julie was never going to be the same because there was someone else in her life that was more important than my latest dating disaster or wardrobe meltdown. And somehow....I let that paralyze me and the friendship for a moment in time. I even wondered if we would ever have the type of relationship that I loved so much.

It was not until yesterday that I had an urge to pick up the phone and call Julie did I realize that a lot of my "fears" were all in my head and my "perceptions" were just that. You see...true friends never really go away. The relationships may take a different shape or form, but the dynamics never change. After only minutes on the phone with Jules....it felt like old times. We were both laughing and chatting as if time had not even passed us by and it was then that I felt so bad for having all of those silly feelings. However I think that I probably needed to have them just to appreciate her more.

So next week, Jules (aka FRED as so many called her in HS) and I are having lunch and catching up. Of course she wants to know more about mystery man....but mostly we just want to have some quality Jen and Jules time. Yahoo!

God, Sushi and a whole lot of fun

2009-03-16T11:50:00.000-04:00

"People go to casinos for the same reason they go on blind dates - hoping to hit the jackpot. But mostly, you just wind up broke or alone in a bar."- Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex in the City

So in a previous blog I mentioned that I had been set up by an old friend from high school on a blind date. As hesitant as I was...I somehow agreed to go through with meeting the mystery man. Well.....much to my surprise, turns out mystery man wasn't so bad. He made the first move (bonus in my book) by emailing me a nice little introduction of himself. Now for those of you who are a little old school, emailing has replaced the initial phone call in the world of dating in 2009. It's far less nerve-wracking and it allows the individual to open up a little more.

So I received the first email....and in my true fashion I wrote back. A novel. Yes, as you could imagine I found that as a free way to say just about everything I would want to say....but without any inhibitions and cute little smiley faces. Cheesy I know...but hey...what did I have to lose at that point right? I had not met him yet. Needless to say....he enjoyed the writing too and I felt as if we were swept back to years ago when letters were exchanged as a means of affection and communication. The emails continued for a few days until we decided to brave the first phone conversation.

It did not surprise me in the least that after seeing how long our emails had become that our first phone conversation was 2 1/2 hours long! The second phone conversation lasted 2 hours. Needless to say we never lacked a topic to discuss. Everything from religion to politics to college experiences (yes, he went to NC State....but I have not held that against him yet) to family and friends. This was the first time that I had actually gotten to "know" someone before I actually "met" them.

As you could imagine...the intensity continued to build. So last week...we decided to meet. He drove to my house and we watched the Duke vs. Carolina game (brave man). After a victorious win for the heels....we decided to do a little Mexican (can it get any better??). Now top all of this off with Winston (the pug) interviewing him as well. Tough crowd. But as you might have guessed.....Winston is a push over...and as soon as saw it was OK to jump up on his lap.....he was approved. Too easy.

The week was great with another dinner date in Chapel Hill (Foster's....yeah!) and we topped off the week with meeting in Raleigh (his home turf) for a wonderful evening. We actually went to mass together (and as I told Kerry....never hurts to have God on your side to start a date:)) had a drink with our matchmakers (Jason and Laurie)...and dined on some fabulous Sushi (check it out if you are ever in Raleigh....www.sonoraleigh.com). Overall....one of the best dates EVER.

I would have to say that mystery man has made quite the impression. Still trying to process it all and figure where am I in this dating thing. But if I had to give one piece of advice....don't question those that know you well and if they suggest a blind date ....give it a shot!

TGIF

2009-03-13T15:28:00.000-04:00

I thought I would NEVER survive this week! This has been a long one. Maybe it's due to the fact it was 79 degrees on Monday and now it is 49 degrees....I literally feel like I am living in two worlds! AND...I am still fighting off a two day stomach bug. Yuck! AND when I finally get my appetite back...it's Friday and I can't have meat. Go figure.

So to make me happy....I decided to go through some wedding pictures today of both Lynn's wedding and Joe's wedding to decide which ones I wanted to purchase and frame. Every time I see this picture of Mike and I just laugh. Because truth be told....it was my only sip (yep..sip) of beer that I had the entire wedding. I was the official "DD" of the night...so I did not get to enjoy the Red Oak like the others (Mike, Joe). However....a nice cold beer would be great about now.

Have a great weekend.....and GO HEELS!

Nanny

2009-03-10T09:34:00.000-04:00

Today would have been Nanny Kirk's 93rd birthday. And if she were here....we would be celebrating it for sure. She loved her birthday (Perhaps that's where I get my love for my birthday from)! It's hard to believe she has been gone for almost 5 years....it seems like only yesterday that she was sitting in her chair laughing or arguing with Aunt Mary about something.

I miss Nanny and I would give anything to just have five minutes with her to smell her Halston's perfume, see her ring on her finger that was always spun upside down, or touch her soft skin that had worn from the years of raising 7 children, or listening to the stories she told of life as a young girl in Philly or perhaps hearing her sing along to Lawrence Welk on TV.

I adored Nanny. And there is never a day that I don't miss her. So on this day....I take a moment to say "Happy Birthday Nanny" to wherever your peaceful soul may be.

Love, Jennifer

Dating in 2009

2009-03-09T20:11:00.000-04:00

“No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry”

So perhaps this is the mantra that I should have been living my dating life by for the last twelve years. I am sure there would have been far less heartaches and many smarter picks in the bunch of my dating choices. However I am sure I would not have learned as much..... right?

As I tip toe back into the world of dating and do so in 2009 you would think that even though I have elected to take the last eight or so months off, I should be an old pro at this. WRONG. It's different now for some reason. At 32 people look and act differently. They just do. I for example am for less likely to just go out with just anyone and I am becoming very, very picky. I always thought that I was not that way, but maybe because I have chosen not to settle that I am very determined to be even pickier in my dating habits. I find it even more ironic that the notion of being 32, single and not married was weird...is um....not so weird anymore!

The other "fun" thing about this dating journey is the advice and assistance of others who all of the sudden become dating experts. Like the uncle (not naming any names....because they are still one of my favorite uncles) who suggests the CatholicMatch.com site because it worked for a friend of a friend. Or the local neighbor who says the speedating scene is where it is at. Or perhaps that occasional nudge from a co-worker or friend that suggests that joining a gym or a book club would be healthy. The list could go on and on. So you just have to find a point where you either live with it or you chose to live with out it.

So this past week....I finally caved and decided to live with it. An old friend from high school suggested that perhaps a friend of hers meet me for a blind date. Now of course the thought of that made me want to just cringe. But at this point...I was not desperate...but "open" to all possibilities. Smile.

Now folks I am not one for predictions, preminitions, etc. However....so far...I am very proud of myself for staying in the game and taking a chance on love. Because sometimes....you just never know what's around the corner. And the old saying goes....sometimes you have to kiss a lot of toads to find your prince.

Until.... tomorrow.

Sunny Carolina Fridays....

2009-03-06T14:01:00.000-05:00

So as I sit and stare out my window over the HVAC system here at Elon....I am envious of the students throwing the Frisbees and frolicking in the sun. Long gone are the days of skipping class (oh come on...we all did it once or 20 times) and just enjoying a sunny Friday. It's so hard to believe that not four days ago we had six inches of snow on the ground and it was 15 degrees. And now it is sunny and a nice 71 degrees outside. I am so looking forward to a weekend of absolutely nothing..perhaps a good workout and a nice walk with the pug. These are the weekends that get me excited about the Spring and Summer when Fridays at 5pm are made up of beers and good times.

So off to my first Carolina Hurricanes game tonight. I have never been to an NHL game before, so I expect to be doing a lot of people watching. Heck....it cannot be that much different from a NASCAR race right? The only difference is that your indoors instead of outdoors, your beer is in a plastic cup instead of a koozie, the players are padded versus the drivers in cars. Other than that I understand the fans to be rowdy, offensive and the atmosphere is loud. If all goes well...I might just be setting myself up for a new addiction! Go Canes!

The First Post

2009-03-04T14:35:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my world. So as I read about the lives of others in the world of blogging...I thought it was only appropriate to step up to the plate and try it out. So here goes it! A blog about a single southern gal living in this crazy world. Nothing fancy....just sharing my thoughts on love, life, politics, sports and occasionally my family (sorry fam!). Perhaps it could be the 2009 virtual version of Carrie from Sex and the City....minus the cool shoes and Mr. Big!

I invite you to share your thoughts about my rants and raves ....and I always welcome constructive criticism. So before I go forward ...perhaps I should tell you a little about me. I am 32, single and live with the most adorable and sometimes mischief little pug Winston. He is by far the greatest gift I have ever given myself and you will hear a great deal about him...I am sure.

I am the oldest of four kids (or should I say "grown" children). Being the oldest has its perks....but it also has its downfalls as well (that is for another post). My brother Joe lives in New York City and is newly married to a wonderful gal by the name of Kerry (yes...that would be Kerry Ruggieri!). We love to make fun of her for that. She is by far one of the coolest people I know. My sister Lynn lives in Boston and is also newly married to a swell guy by the name of Michael Beahm. He treats her like a princess and he has adjusted well to the madness of this thing we called family. Finally my youngest sibling is Mike and he lives in Charlotte. He is by far the funniest out of all of my siblings...and scary for him, the most like me. Fortunately I have a great family and blessed to get along with all of them (most of the time). I can't wait to share more stories about each of them!

I also have two amazing parents, Mauro and Katie. They have been married 35 year this June and I could not imagine having better role models to look up to. Now I am sure they would have very nice things to say about me. But if you were to really get them to talk....they probably could tell you some good stories....and not so flattering ones as well. Again....those are for other posts. All in all, I think I was dealt a pretty good hand when it comes to the family card. I am very grateful.

As for me. Well I try to work hard and play even harder. As I move forward with this blog I will share more about what I love most about life and what I want most out of it......so stay tuned!