"Oh, my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts - it's what you do with what you have left." ~Hubert HumphreyGrandma Ruggieri was 38 years old when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer. That was 1962. At that time the world of medicine did not know how to handle the diagnosis of breast cancer...if anything they may not of understood cancer all together. So at that time, my grandmother did what she had to do to survive and had a mastectomy. And it was gruesome. With that procedure came no counseling, no follow-up and no rehabilitation back into the world in which she had to function...life with three children and a husband. So my grandmother did they only thing she knew how to do, she survived.
I have been told that through the next few years of my grandmother's life, she was in and out of the hospital for "nervous breakdowns" and various mental issues. As my father describes, it was a tough time in the house. I can only imagine that if no one around you had ever heard of what you had been through and then on top of that you physically could not recognize your body anymore...I would have had mental issues too. Today, those mental issues are called depression. Forty-five years ago, with the proper counseling and medication, my grandmother could have had a much healthier transition back to her life as she once knew it.
On October 30, 2002 my grandmother lost her 40-year battle with breast cancer. Although to many she may have succumbed to the disease that caused her such angst, I feel she was a survivor for so many reasons more. The day she died I could not help to think that it was a coincidence that her death occurred in a month that would signify a movement that has now transcending a nation..... finding a cure for Breast Cancer.
I had "heard" there was this thing called Breast Cancer Awareness...but I had not educated myself enough to fully understand the movement. However, on the day of Grandma's wake and funeral, the entire family wore the pink ribbon for the first time. And the entire congregation wore them as well. Many people did not know of the pink ribbon or what it meant either (unless we explained it to them) but it was powerful to have such grand yet silent form of support.
From that moment on I knew that Grandma's life and what she had endured would have more meaning and her survival should continue on. Since 2002 I have worn the pink ribbon every day during the month of October, but I have also taken the message of finding a cure for breast cancer as a personal philanthropy. Whether it's walking in the Race for the Cure every year or having a birthday themed party or even just advocating for more research dollars with my local representatives....I have made it a personal cause.
I was always close to all of my grandparents and I was there with my grandmother the last few months of her life. I made it a point to do the little things that she could not; paint her nails, do her hair, help her bathe and talk to her about funny stories. One of the strongest memories I have of Grandma Ruggieri was about two months before she passed away. I had slept in her bed one night because she was having trouble sleeping. She got up in the middle in of the night and was sitting on the edge of the bed. I asked her what was wrong. She said she was afraid that no one would remember her or no one would come and visit her (at her grave). I assured I would do both. She then asked, would I remember to bring her pink roses. I said I would.
I can't get to New Jersey often and when I do I always bring her pink roses. But for all the days I cannot....I wear the pink ribbon.
JARTo find out the great things that are happening with Breast Cancer Awareness, please check out the
Susan G. Komen Foundation
